We need to gather daily to pray and seek You and totally submit - but we'd have to give up a lot of other stuff in our lives...

November 20, 2006

Thank You for being with me this morning. Thank You for reminding me that it is my day to fast and pray. Thank You for speaking to me through the scriptures that tell the story of Jehoshaphat, King of Judah - who mostly trusted in You - and You did great things for Judah in return. But Lord, he also turned to friendship with the wicked kings of Israel - twice - oh Lord, I see that I, too, have things I repeatedly turn aside to, and how "easy" it is to do that - and the terrible consequences. One of Jehoshaphat's sons - the eldest - had for a wife King Ahab's daughter. And that probably occurred when Jehoshaphat was king and made friends with the King of Israel. And what a terrible man his son became, as he was influenced by his wife, Ahab's daughter! Oh dear God, please help me to be totally centered on Jesus, oh You, Lord! Help me! Please! Fill me with Your Spirit!

Lord, we've had such wonderful preaching at church, such a strong spiritual foundation being laid, yet somehow I feel as though I am running into a wall (and that the whole church is, too). I feel like we talk about our need for spiritual growth, for total submission to, and filling by, Your Spirit - and for several Sundays we even all went forward to the altar, and there did seem to be real desire to follow You - and yes, even repentance too, and a beginning of brokenness... but Lord, I do not feel that I, myself, have become totally broken before You, and think this is true of all (or at least most) of us. Lord, I just can't get past thinking that we need to have daily prayer meetings, be in constant prayer and waiting upon You, like the disciples did after Jesus was taken into heaven, not giving up, not getting off our faces before You, until the power of the Holy Spirit truly falls upon us in all Your fullness, Lord!!!

I realize that will require us to give up the other things we want/like/even think are necessary to do - and I'm not sure we want to do that, Lord. I can't get past the thought (belief!) that You want to totally wipe out the "walls of the house" that we have built, and start us afresh, anew, completely new, on You, the firm and strong and perfect, eternal, all powerful, all loving foundation. Jesus the cornerstone, the cap-stone, both, below and above! (Just saw that! Wow!)

Lord God, maybe instead of life groups, youth groups, Critter's Cove (childrens church), even - imagine! - Sunday "celebration" service we need to take those times to get on our knees before You in fasting and prayer. Maybe we need to set aside these "fellowship lunches," loving and fine as they are, and seek with all our beings for the true bread and water! Maybe we need to stop worrying about the church structure - and even the "right pastor" - and seek You with all our hearts. Oh dear God, we need our hearts to be perfect toward You!

I need my heart to be perfect toward You. And yet even in myself, alone, I find a block. And in our church I sense a block also. Lord, Pastor __ is preachng such incredible scriptural, spiritual, Spirit-led sermons - but there is not the response there should be! Sometimes one person or another responds to your "nudge" in one degree or another - but oh, dear God, we need more than a nudge! We need to be called out so insistently, so strongly, that we run forward and throw ourselves before You in true brokenness and repentance! I feel like there is a big dam blocking the river of Your Spirit and Your love, and it must be smashed to allow the living water to truly flow into our lives - and out, through us, into the world!

Lord, please help me to pray - without giving up!

Lord, help me to totally submit to Your Spirit, to give up all other things that distract me, that "I" love in my life... and be totally focused on You alone. Thank You!

Yesterday a lady at church told me what a blessing she gets by reading the scriptures both in English and in her own language! Thank You again, Lord, for the opportunity to learn French! (And what about other languages, too?) Oh Lord, I've been dreaming in French, too, so much! Use it in my life, dear Lord! Thank You! Your will be done! (She and I were also talking about the need for spiritual foundation preaching before "practical" preaching, because the second without the first becomes only the advice of the world - without the power and leading and involvement of God - and therein is worth nothing!

Oh dear God, I want what You want.

Oh dear God, I want You!!! In me, in my family, in our church (and the church universal), and in my school, and community, and world.

oh Heavenly Father -
You lead!
You fill! by Your Spirit!
You bring us into true fellowship with You!
Build Your church, Your Kingdom, dear God!
To You be all the glory, now and forever, Amen!

Hallelujah! Amen!