February 27, 2008
Good morning Father! I was thinking this morning about the whole “church” thing… and my personal conclusion is that I love to gather with Your people to share Your love and worship You… but I’m not feeling so obligated! If I go it’s because I love to be part of Your family, Your body, Your church… not just because it’s “habit” or “I have to” or whatever. And it doesn’t seem to matter where we gather or even when – it’s Your Presence that is so awesome – You are the center!
You know I missed “church” on Sunday, we just went on a long drive – just needed a restful break and quiet peaceful time together… and then had lunch with ___ which is always nice… and supper with the ___ family… and oh! You were there!
Guess just the thought of being “involved” at “church” makes me tired. I don’t want to be the “church treasurer” or a “childrens church teacher” or anything like that… (Don’t mind the “movie night café” thing though).
I am thinking of what ___ said about my “gifts” – hospitality, one-on-one teaching/ friendship, etc… not “big ministry” things…
It still seems that there is this thought that, yes, we may go through a lot of little, “seemingly insignificant” life events and jobs etc- but that eventually, if we are really following God, we will end up in the job and/ or “ministry” that is His “actual purpose” for us – and like it will be a “big deal!” Well, if that were truly what was planned for every believer, seems to me that there would be an awful lots of “chiefs” and not too many “Indians.” Personally, I’d rather You just be the chief – and I’ll be happy to be the baby toe or whatever – because, obviously, all the parts are necessary (and therefore important) – and all worthy of honor when You are in charge, because then it is about You, led by You, centered on You – and You are totally honorable! [A year later: hmmm… the baby toe is important for balance… Lord?? Is that You speaking?]
Well, I’ve kind of been out of Your Word the last couple weeks, though I’ve been in it off and on, and the things I have been reading do quote from it, etc… but I’m getting hungry for focused time with You and Your Word (not to mention that YOU are the WORD!) Thank You! On to it!