No longer under pressure, compulsion....

October 13, 2008

It felt like such a long time since I have just really been knowing You, having pure relationship with You through Your Word and Your Spirit... I've felt like I got "side-tracked" with "issues" and "church" and stuff... but maybe that was necessary, too, to free me from some "shackles" in that area.... I really was "shackled" by the push, push, push to be "involved" in "ministry," to be a "successful Christian," to volunteer for lots of stuff at church, school, groups, etc. Yes, even to be noticed and acclaimed by mankind...

Because, really, for the first time I feel like I can just sit back and relax, and spend time with my Lord, just to be "in relationship" (not necessarily to be "getting prepared" to become a "mature Christian leader," teacher, etc). If God sends along something He wants me to do, fine, I'm here, and He's welcome to work through me and use me (to HIS glory!)... but I'm not going to be "under pressure" ...
I was thinking about "church" again... I do like to go now - without feeling like I'm under "compulsion" to "get involved" .... I've been feeling, the past couple days, like I'd like to maybe be involved in a Bible Study again... but only if You clearly "open a door" ... whatever YOU want.

Yesterday at church, a man read a little tongue-in-cheek kind of article about a church bemoaning the loss of a member by the name of "Someone Else." Apparently, this member had always been available for any and every church job and activity. "Oh, I can't do that. Surely Someone Else would be happy to do it." "I don't need to give more money to the church. Someone Else will."

I just don't even want to look through the list of "help wanted" items in the church bulletin... I'd rather just step in and participate and help as things happen by Your plan, purpose, timing...

I do think that really getting back into more active relationship with You will just result in You using me however - for legitimate needs: needs that are in YOUR plans and purposes and timing! Needs of YOUR church!
Thank You! Wow! Amen!