"our church" radically becoming "Your church"? ....

March 11, 2009

The thing I woke up thinking about was Your church, and You - particularly my relationship with You. I've been setting up this "church journey" blog... and all these years I've been desperate to know You, to serve You, to preach (proclaim!) Your gospel, to "go out into all the world and bring the gospel to every creature," and then wanting more and more to be part of a genuinely "New Testament" church... part of Your New Testament church, locally, regionally, world-wide... in our time and as part of the church universal throughout time.

Such dreams I had! And not just "how to" dreams but great, passionate longing, desire, hope... even desperation! ... to walk with You as 100% as I possibly could this side of eternity... to have all of You I could possibly have, to be all I could possibly be in You... and yes, to do all I could possibly do, with and in You (and for You.... but You were teaching me to stop striving in my own "strength" and come to You in my actual weakness and rest in You, trust in You, obey and walk with You "in the moment" day by day)....

And when I see that passion, I wonder what happened? Maybe I just need to "read the rest of the story" ... but maybe, more to the point, I need to hear from You again....

I really do believe You have released me from the world's systems - even the "church systems" - and even the particular "local church group/ expression"... yes, even "body" that I have been a part of now for nearly 8 years! Not that You have released me from loving them, praying for and with them even, even "fellowshiping" with them in various ways as You lead me... but freed from the ... well, bondage! that keeps dividing them and putting a bushel over Your light in their midst, and over the "light on the hill" which they desire to be (and oh Lord, they are just pretty much the same as the rest of the other "local expressions of Your church" ....

I suppose of course that there is no "perfect" church anywhere, anytime, on this sin-stained earth.... but should we not long to be Your perfect bride, nonetheless? Should we not long to be lively branches totally joined to and feeding from and dependent on You, our vine? Should we not long to be a healthy, strong body, Y0ur church in each city, with every part fully functioning and fully united and working together with every other part and fully under Your headship?

The people at Abundant Life do want to serve You. They do want to be united (they even want to run around and "bring back to our church" all those who've left, and be re-united... I'm not so sure about that, Lord... maybe they need to start by rebuilding those relationships just in the general community (with You at the center... not "our church" at the center...) and just see where You take it all.

I still can't help but wonder if maybe... well, Lord, I'm kind of afraid to even write it, because it seems so "radical".... but I'm wondering if maybe they should just "let it all go" ... the building, yes, but also the "constitution" and "by-laws" and programs and music equipment and even the name "Abundant Life"... even, dare I say, the entity that name represents.... maybe even purposefully NOT meet together as "that group" for a determined period of time... or even not as "small groups of that group" meeting as "church services" in homes or whatever...

and determine to each personally grow in knowing You.. and to get to know each other - one another! - individually, or at least in gatherings of no more than 10 or a dozen, not formal gatherings, but maybe meals, times of helping each other in practical ways, being involved with other believers (ie helping Pastor Peter serve the poor, getting to know and pray with and fellowship with those in "other churches" in simple ways - and with those who've "left our church" ... ha! doing some pro-active forgiveness and reconciliation and relationship building with them! .... purposefully avoiding just hanging out with their own comfortable little group (clique? oh dear...)...

And see where You take them...

Oh, I see, You're saying to put "me" into that last sentence, instead of "them" ... okay... and see where You take me... Yes. Yes!

(I'm thinking maybe, after all, that's where ___ has been, kind of... but I do want it to be from You!)