expressing doubts about one's beliefs...

February 2, 2009

Here's a question I asked myself when typing from my old journals: Have I possibly been too open in front of my kids (and others) about my own doubts, wondering, questionings? Would they have had less doubts of their own if I hadn't expressed mine? If I had "protected" them from ideas of the world... and from my own spiritual struggles? hmmmm?

It seems to me like when I was growing up, expressing doubts about your beliefs, or anything related to them (what other people expected you to believe, the rules and regulations supposedly required by those beliefs, the interpretation of scripture presented by the church group you - well, your family, that is your parents, and you by extension - belonged to, and so on)... well, expressing doubts or asking hard questions just "wasn't done." I remember when I was in university, and learning a lot of different ideas and philosophies and such, and I was attending a church-based Bible study, and was asked to no longer come, because my questions might upset the faith of others, especially new believers...

But that "we don't mention our doubts" attitude did not seem to stop me from having doubts and questions and struggles... and it didn't seem to stop a lot of the rest of my generation... many of whom simply "dropped out" ....