July 29, 2003
Anyway, I went through the 501 book this afternoon and I think I have a more balanced understanding now about the infilling of the Holy Spirit.
(Oh, and I believe I have been filled… and filled… but with a week or so of slacking off from time with the Lord, I think I was pretty much emptied and running on “me” ….
Also, I was thinking about worship, especially music, and I think part of my problem is that due to challenges like the stuff that happened at the Pentecostal and at the Life Group I have really backed off enjoying practicing my guitar, listening to Christian tapes, and getting into singing at church and cell group – also on Saturday night due to working on the café – also I have been really aware of whether I’m singing to the Lord or to be heard and approved by people: and find myself doing the latter more often – most often – than not… anyway, with all of that I have failed, held back, from praising God in that way – and I believe I have been quenching the Spirit in that way. As I have been from “forgetting” to turn in the tithe immediately. And by not being very loving, and holding back, and holding resentment toward hubby… and worrying about making the tough love changes I need to make re my kids. The Pastor taught us something important in that respect at 501 yesterday:
Love is not caring…
Love is developing!
God does not babysit His children.
He doesn’t let them just have their own way.
(And we need to deal the same way with our children.
And operate our home by biblical principles!)
We gotta start now! (But boy oh boy do we – I – need the power of God because I can’t do it myself – I gave in far too long ago…)