I want action, not bumbling along.... Lord?

January 30, 2005

It’s been a long day, Lord. But a good day. Thank You. Thank You for the soup time. Oh, Lord, I want “Sunday Soup” to be an outreach, not just a feeding-people-food time, but a spiritual outreach. And same with our life group.

And Lord, I want to lead some kind of group. I want to reach out to my neighbors, to my kids’ friends, to francophone people, to my students and their families. I want our life group to grow and multiply. I want the other group to grow, too.

I’m tired of things just bumbling along. I find it hard to imagine that “bumbling along” is what You want. Oh. I know that Your timing is better than mine, of course. But I want to see the church in action. I am feeling impatient, Lord. Please, please help me to see opportunities, dear God.

I feel like such a failure because I am not out bringing people to You. I’m not bold. Yes, I pray on my paper route, and some other times. And I’m going to start fasting tomorrow! But oh dear God, I want my kids to come to You, sooner rather than later. I don’t want to see their lives wasted. Though I kind of wasted mine, didn’t I? I’m sorry. I don’t want them making the same mistake.

Lord, I want action. I want to act. Only I don’t want it to be “me.” I want it to be Your plan and purpose. Suddenly I’m feeling so excited, burdened, almost driven.

I want to communicate that to people both inside and outside the church. I want to lead people to You. Open my eyes to the opportunities, Lord. Cleanse my heart. Forgive my terrible sins. Fill me with Your Spirit. I need Your Spirit so much, dear Heavenly Father, Jesus, Hope Spirit. Oh dear Jesus, use me! Please!