January 22, 2007
And in our ladies Bible Study group, I have felt dry and empty. My prayers have felt hollow. The words I speak as I teach and discuss have become hollow and legalistic to my own ears. How have they sounded to the others? What have I done to Your Spirit's ability to work in our group? I have some confession to make, some humbling before my sisters! Oh dear Lord God, please forgive me! Help me to "Turn my eyes upon Jesus, Look full in His wonderful face, And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, In the light of His glory and grace."
And yes, it's been the same praying for _____. I have not really had anything to contribute when I'm asked if God has spoken anything to me. Last time, in fact, I was just relieved when ____ did all the praying so I didn't have to take a turn, because I had gone there with such an emptiness and a feeling of separation from You. Oh, forgive me, Lord. Please forgive me, and refill me with Your Spirit; draw me close to You again, oh my dear, dear Lord and Saviour, and my dear Father God!
And after the wonderful first inter-church prayer meeting last night (Oh thank You, Lord... but why were so few people there? Oh, help us to know what is important, Lord!), I was rewriting my thoughts about that meditation that came on my email yesterday morning, and it came to me that I can - I must - get writing that book! I emailed my friend ___ to tell her, then went to sleep.