confused about spiritual gifts... again

December 4, 2003

We talked about friends last night at our cell group, and I brought up about meals around the kitchen table, and about fast food restaurants. And I think I brought that up because the starting question (which I didn't answer out loud, but have been thinking about a lot) was "Which talent or spiritual gift would you really like to have?"

Well... I really, really wanted to be able to sing... and God granted that in a most amazing way, though it really only "works" when I'm actually praising the Lord - which is great, because I wound otherwise get a swelled head, and it would be wasted. I have to remind myself constantly that it is a gift from God for His use and glory, and let Him choose the times and places He wants it used for.

Forgive me, Lord, for being constantly tempted, and so often falling into the trap of wanting attention for my voice. But I do want to use it to encourage others to praise You in song,too. Lord, I need to ensure that my motives are pure.

I want to be hospitable. I always remember ____ saying she believed I have the gift of hospitality. And Lord, You know how I long to have my door open, a pot of soup on the stove, my home a lighthouse and port of safety and Christian influence and growth and down-home, old-time hospitality to my community. But Lord, what about my family? Can I do it if they don't seem to share my vision?

The 301 course said that my #1 gift (but - is it a gift, or just a natural talent or leaning? and how is it spiritual?) is "administration." Lord, You know I am really struggling with that idea. Churches are led by men, and in churches (and, face it, everywhere else) men don't much like the idea of women adminstering anything (except maybe childrens ministries - where men are really, really needed but don't want to be involved! - okay, that's where they've slotted me now, isn't it, though it is dealing with adult volunteers in that ministry -- or in womens ministries, which is where my "vision" lies, so that could be very cool!). I'd still like to do that church data base of gifts and talents and life experiences, Lord.

What were the other "gifts" identified in 301? Let me see... Oh! Writing (100%), Administration (90%) (oh! so it's only 2nd!), Knowledge, Music (instrumental/vocal), and teaching (tied at 80%). Hospitality was only 58%, but I wonder if that doesn't reflect the barriers I've run into - or created in my own mind?