June 3, 2004
I always enjoy people who are counter-cultural. I've always wistfully wished I could be more counter-cultural. Well, I can. It's alright. Not only that, it's a must if I want to be like Jesus. He is the counter-cultural One. And the counter-culture He offers is the ultimate lifestyle. And yet, He promises it will be rare and difficult. And that is really so cool. I never really realized what a great thing this aspect of being a Christian should be.
"Different!" Well, I want to be different. I've always wanted to be different. I long to be different. And here the ultimate "different" has been right here under my nose, free for the taking, all along, but I never really recognized it. Maybe I thought it was the status quo because I was "brought up in the church." But the radical life Jesus offers is really so much more than most "organized Christianity" chooses to follow or even recognize.
Oh Lord Jesus, please make me radical, different, counter-cultural, risk-taking, daring - for You! Thank You, Lord. Thank You dear Heavenly Father. Thank You, dear Holy Spirit. Please forgive me for all my sins and lack of understanding up to this moment, and fill me right now. Help me to hear Your voice, know Your thoughts, believe Your Word - and act out my entire life on it, transformed into the image of Jesus Christ, God's Son, by the transformation of my mind through repentance, commitment and through the power of Your Holy Spirit, my Lord, my God, Three-in-One, Amen.
July 6, 2004
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank You so much for the worship focus group. After last week’s group I found ___’s clarinet and brought it to her, but she didn’t want it and told me to keep it! So I’ve starting practicing again.
And last night’s worship group was so good, the sharing and the music and singing. I was dancing a bit, praying and singing both in English and in tongues, with a freedom I have not had for so long, though still I experienced some hesitation.
Today I got out my worship tapes and listened to them and sang along, as I drove up to visit Mom and Dad. And yesterday I finished reading the New Testament, and have decided now to read a chapter in the Psalms every day (along with Genesis). And really take the advice to meditate on each Psalm, to praise, to pray, to record my insights, love God with all my heart, mind, body, soul, strength. I don’t know where You’ll take me with all this, but there have been too many God-incidents for me to ignore my need to really get into worshiping You again and more.
(I want to work on my guitar again, too. And it would be nice to have a piano, Lord, or a keyboard even? Lord? Your will be done).