May 11, 2004
Lord God, You know I want to serve You, but oh Lord, how do I know what is service and what is just running around like a chicken with its head cut off? I need focus, Lord, focus on Jesus. Lord Jesus, my dear Lord and Savior, You knew when to withdraw from the crowds into the closer relationship group of Your followers, then Your chosen twelve, then the three, and finally, most of all, You and Your Father alone together, drawing power through prayer and the anointing of the Spirit upon You. That's what I want, Lord, that kind of focusing, but I don't seem to know how to set boundaries or recognize what service is truly needed and will result in the glory of God.
You knew who to heal, You never tried to heal everyone, You knew what would bring glory to Your Father, and You knew when You needed rest and refreshment and relationship with God and with Your disciples. Oh dear God, help me to know these kinds of things, too. Please dear God, forgive me and cleanse me of my gossiping, judging spirit, help me to love others unconditionally and seek forgiveness from them for my attitudes. I'm scared to do that last thing, Lord. Show me how important and required it is. Please. (Even though I'm scared to ask, and feel myself holding back, afraid to commit myself too much to it, or to see myself the way I really am. Forgive me, Lord Jesus. Help me, Father, Son, Holy Spirit).