April 29, 2004
I just slid out of bed and onto my knees, and told You I don't know what I want except to love You and hear You and know Your voice. I have been so confused lately, and Lord, it seems like my head is full of a clatter of voices. My brain seems to have gone into overdrive, but my body and life seem to be stalled. Some of us love to study the Word, and long to hear Your voice in it, and find clear direction, too. And it would be nice if we could meet (those of us so inclined) to do that. Oh Lord, I just want to be able to share what You are teaching me, and find out what You are teaching the others, and somehow put that together to discover and enact Your plan for Your church here among us.
You do have big plans. You are working out Your purposes. You do care about me, and about our cell group and our church and our city, and all the lost people, and You are going to shake us up, focus us on You, teach us to pray. Oh dear God, teach me to pray. Pour out Your Spirit - pour out Your fire, Lord. Light me aflame, Lord. Pour out Your fire on the altar of my sacrifice of my life. Burn up all the deadwood and the water that is dampening, even soaking, my ardor for You. Even the "dust" of my past, and of the things in my present that I am allowing to settle in and choke and clog up my relationship with You, and my service and my love for You. Pour down Your fire upon me, dear Holy Spirit, and upon our life group and church, dear God - like You did when Elijah faced the 400 prophets of Baal - so that we may all unreservedly proclaim with all our beings, "The Lord, He is God! The Lord, He is God!" And not only proclaim it but commit to it totally, totally, totally, and live it! That we may totally destroy the "prophets of Baal" in our lives and serve You only and always.