Getting restless for "ministry" ... but You advise patience: just trust You one step at a time

Sept 13 2001

Lord, You know I’ve also been struggling with what I’ve perceived as the “narrowness” of my life, and have been restless, wanting to get “out there” in some “exciting ministry” … and You’ve been teaching me (and I’ve been slowly understanding) that where I am is an enormously important and responsible ministry… and that it can be a totally exciting adventure if I really truly give it to You.

September 18, 2001

Sunday, I went to the Anglican Church, Abundant life, and the Pentecostal… I sure enjoyed the Anglican – the hymns, the liturgy, the peacefulness and quiet worship of that approach… but I loved the others, too, Lord! What an odd person I am. I’ve been missing the Christian Fellowship too, lately. Especially the choruses! And even the preaching! I wonder… what is it You want for me??? Well, step by step, moment by moment…

I really want to discover Your will/ direction (both!) for my life. I mean, I am happy walking step-by-step and learning to trust You, but I also want to be sure that what I am already doing is in Your plan… To be honest, Lord, I am kind of (really) confused because I’ve just been learning (from You!) to relax and take life a step at a time and just trust You for each of the next steps, and then I start to feel pressured again (the way I used to be) to have a plan/ goal and be doing stuff to “get there” and to “know myself” as a means to “discovering Your will…”

Yes! Yes! I know! Step by step! Trust and obey! (And praise!!! Thank You, Jesus!)

Thank You for John 17. It’s odd – when I’m reading it each day (well … most days…) I often feel I’m not focusing very well or getting much out of it, but, oh Lord, I believe it is “growing on me” – and “in me” – and doing a real work in my heart and life. At least, I feel like I am growing closer and appreciating You and our relationship more and more – and gaining Your vision for me as part of Your body, the church, too! For all of us! Amen!

John 17: the priorities/ agenda of Jesus – Lord, please make them mine! And transform me!....
#1 (v1,5) That Jesus might be glorified – that our actions will reflect well on Him
#2 (v11) That Christians might be sanctified – holy, righteous, apart from the world’s ways
#3 (v21-23) That the church might be unified – spiritual unity of all believers – through our mutual faith and trust in him – we’re brothers and sisters – start acting like it!
#4 (v18) That the world might be evangelized – to seek and save those who are lost – we are Christ’s ambassadors (missionaries, evangelists – what is my part?)

Thank You, Lord, for this quiet, waiting time, in my life. Thank You for the transformation You are working. Help me be silent so I can hear You.