March 9, 2004
I was at a meeting yesterday, and I tried to sit quietly, but finally I spoke out about things I thought were really important. Afterward, I realized that I need to learn to "say it in love," and I have asked God's forgiveness for my "outburst." But I do believe God has created me with the ability to think things through, and to express those things.
And I have also realized that, contrary to how I have felt about myself in the past, I am not stupid, ugly, useless! After all, God made me for His purposes, and as I grow to know Him and love Him more and more, He will continue to refine me into the "image of Christ." And I believe He does want me to proclaim (in love, and by the guidance of His Spirit) His warnings and exhortations to His children, who have been so influenced and molded by the philosophies of man, and who need, just as He has been teaching me, to sacrifice themselves to their Father, to surrender totally to His will, to go and think and act God's ways, no matter what the world may think, and no matter how "we have always done it" if doing it that way turns out not to be God's way, according to His Word and His Spirit.
I am learning, slowly, some humility as I come to understand the Sovereignty of God, and my own minute place in His creation. And that just causes me to be more and more and more amazed, and awed, that He really loves me, and wants to not only use me, but has already made me His child and heir with all the privileges accruing thereto, and then eternity spent with Him!
The honor, the joy, the glory of being able to bow prostrate before Him, on my face, worshiping and glorifying Him forever! Incomprehensible, pure joy! Hallelujah! Thank You, Jesus. You sacrificed Yourself, You died that terrible death, You suffered unbelievably, for me! That is mind-blowing! What a Mighty God I serve. Thank You for expanding my narrow tunnel-vision human mind to catch just a glimpse - but what a glimpse: I can never be the same! - of Your gloriousness. Keep revealing Yourself to me, please, dear God and Father. Dear Holy Spirit, please keep revealing the Father to me through His Son. Clean me and fill me anew this moment, this day, dear God. In the name of Jesus, amen.