22 February 2010
When I went to street church coffee time this morning, I was feeling so sad about what is going on among a gathering of believers I work among… and then Pastor P (without me saying anything about it) said that he has just learned that in the earliest centuries of the church, sadness was considered a “deadly sin” … and he prayed that no matter what happens, we’ll be joyful in the Lord! That really helped me!
Then I got to work… and things did appear to be “sad” … But I kept remembering that YOU ARE IN CONTROL and that therefore we CAN be joyful even when things are looking pretty hopeless.
I again read an article called “Breaking Negative Cycles.” (by Sheila Wray Gregoire). It says, “We see the negative, because it conforms to what we already expect… break the cycle. Look for the exceptions. Do something unexpected. Most importantly, try adding some laughter. You just may find that those good things you used to love are still there after all.”
I have been watching a couple people “seeing the negative” … and it sure looks to me like they are continuing in a negative cycle, and that it’s just spiraling downward hopelessly. And I feel like there is nothing I can do about it. I was wondering if I should have spoken up to them about what they are doing and saying to each other… but I felt that they haven’t truly listened to anything else they have been told (by a number of people) yet, so what more could I say that wouldn’t just itself cause more trouble (or just be ignored or at least not really understood) …. I feel as though when you put me in this position, You had some good reasons and purposes, but that maybe there is no good coming out of me being here anymore… Anyway, I was feeling pretty sad and hopeless, I admit… but for sure NOT panicky like I was in the past… and I kept remembering Pastor P’s prayer, and that has sure helped me a lot! Thank You!
Anyway, later today a friend posted this on his facebook status: “I am responsible for the way I interact with others and the more and more I live in the reality of how Father lives with me and loves me… I will be an agent of harmony instead of an agent of discord and pain and hurt.”
And I was thinking (all along, since you put me in this position), that this was probably a major reason that You put me there (any why You have put some others there, too)… and yet it was seeming to me that all our efforts seem to have failed… and yes, I KNOW this is a situation BEYOND human effort… and I also know that WITH YOU ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! … but the enemy – and my flesh – were really conspiring to make me feel sad and hopeless about the whole situation… and then I heard Your voice so clearly – clarity! – say: “It’s not over till it’s over.”
And I realized Your work here in this situation is not done… and it is not hopeless… Your purposes will prevail – even if people make choices, perhaps, that in the temporary seem to only make things seem hopeless, and also that perhaps cause them to lose out on potential great blessings for themselves …
And then I read on someone else’s face book status: “the test is having enough faith to let go” …
And I realized that “I” have been “trying my best” and that “I” really can’t do anything – so it has to be, IT IS!, up to You! Oh Father, please help me to “let go and let God” totally! Right from the beginning to the end – of everything! Thank You!