free at last!

July 9, 2009

Psalm 81:1 Sing for joy to God our strength; shout joyfully to the God of Jacob. 2. Raise a song, strike the timbrel, the sweet sounding lyre with the harp. 3. Blow the trumpet… on our feast day…. 4. For it is a statute… an ordinance of the God of Jacob.

Father, last night my guitar was sitting there in the living room. And A asked if I am playing it, and encouraged me. And I recalled the wonderful worship evenings she led… and she said that was the highlight of the years at that church, for her….

And later K picked up the guitar and started quietly strumming and singing, and L and I joined in, and then L had to leave, and I sang along… and it was so beautiful to be in Your Presence with Your people, singing praises (and nice that they liked my guitar)!

And then I read this Your Word this morning, and realized that praising You is a command… and yes, I WANT to praise You, Father, on my guitar, with others…

Lord God, we Your people DO need to be united with You! Father, You were among us last night! Oh thank You! In Jesus’ name, Amen! Help me praise You!

J told us last night (kind of hesitantly, nervously), “God has RELEASED me from that church after 13 years” … and hubby said, “Wow, he released Norma, too!” and she said, “Really?!?!?!” And we both, I think, were happy and relieved, because it was a confirmation for both of us… And yet… I still love those folks still there… and feel so sad for the things that happened… and wish they could just be part of Your body and maybe just let “that church” go!.... Oh dear God, not my will, but YOURS be done!

Psalm 81:10 “I, the LORD, am your God, Who brought you up from the land of Egypt: Open your mouth wide and I will fill it.”
That IS what I need to do – open my mouth wide to let You fill it… I’ve been in this “waiting” mode, holding off, holding back… though You HAVE been feeding me, blessing me, anyway…. But oh, dear God, I want Your fullness!

Last night, T gave me a shiny rock that says “free” on it… and I just hugged him, practically squeezed the breath out of him, poor kid…. I was so thrilled, because YOU HAVE FREED ME! “I’m free from the fear of tomorrow [because You love me, and have forgiven me, and have every moment of my life under Your perfect loving care and control… and our family’s lives… and… I saw this in action last night, and realized it just now: The life of Your church, Your people! … And the progression of all this world and all mankind!], I’m free from the guilt of the past [oh yes! I’m forgiven! Really! You love me – unconditionally! You are NOT going to withdraw You love from me. You aren’t holding my sins against me! Yes!]… I’m free, praise the Lord, free at last!”

Psalm 81:11 But my people did not listen to My voice: And Israel did not obey Me. 12. So I gave them over to the stubbornness of their heart, to walk in their own devices. 13. Oh that My people would listen to Me, that Israel would walk in My way. 14. I would quickly subdue their enemies… 16. But I would feed you with the finest of the wheat, and with honey from the rock I would satisfy you.

(Proverbs 13:12 “Hope deferred makes the heart sick [that’s kind of how I feel above moving to Vancouver Island..] but desire fulfilled is a tree for life” …. Lord???...)

Listening to the interview yesterday with the author of