(Written 16 August 2012 in my journal)
Lord? How does "feeling" fit in with everything?
Sometimes I wonder if "feeling" is one of the most shallow aspects of "love" as we see/ experience it humanly. Yet we clamour for it, and if we don't "feel it" we think that love is "gone."
But maybe "feelings" are only the "wrapping paper" - and quite possibly pretty cheap, gaudy paper at best - and the real thing, real love, is to be found deep inside by peeling away layer after layer of wrapping and stuffing ... kind of like that "hot potato" game we played as kids ...
Hints of the real thing, the gift itself, YOUR LOVE - keep coming through as we "sense" weight, sound, scents, and so on... but we have to stick to the game, live through both excitement and disappointment and new hope and dashed hopes and sometimes little "minor" gifts tucked in along the way, which we enjoy for the moment, but which we realize are just bits of encouragement along the way, meant to be enjoyed, and enjoyed best as we share them and pass them on to others; not to be held on to and hoarded and wept over if they break or slip out of our grasp.... because they are just shadows and inklings and preparation for the real gift that we are coming closer to ... And which in the end we will find forever in You.
You've given us relationships in life - family, spouses, friends - to learn us learn to keep moving deeper and never give up ... and wonderful (and difficult!) as those relationships can be, all of them - all true love - is ultimately wrapped up in You. You are the goal. The point. You are Love. That's.... awe-some. wow.