2 June 2010
Okay, finally, I am taking a deep breath, and plunging into Matthew 26!
(But then, instead of letting me read, You made me be QUIET for a moment. [the enemy didn't like that! woohee!].
And then You asked me to sing Your praise... out loud... which I haven't done for such a long time... [I haven't, because it had become for me a stumbling block, a pride thing. And because I was "hurt" about what other folks said about my "worship." And because I had even got to the point of scorning other folks' "immaturity" or "relying on music for their fix"]. (Sorry, Lord).
And so I tried to sing, like You asked me. But I couldn't sing loud or strong or powerful ... or even very on tune. Actually it was pretty weak and wavering. And I was afraid of what it might mean I have to give up - and what I might have to start doing ... like "going to church" again, or something. Because I guess I see "worship music" and "worship time" as part of the whole "churchianity" thing... and I guess I've been PRIDING MYSELF - A LOT about being "better than them" and "escaping that trap" (instead of praising You for setting me free - it was You!!!).
"I love You, Lord, and I lift my voice/ To worship You. O my soul, rejoice./ Take joy, my King, in what You hear/ Let it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear." (Lyrics, Laurie Klein).
But Father, those words still have an awful lot of "I" and "my" and even "it" (referring to what "I" am doing - wrapped up in so-called "worship").
Maybe the angel songs are better for models of worship, than songs of men?
"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts, The whole earth is ful of His glory." (Isaiah 6:3)
"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God, the Almighty, who was and is and is to come." (Rev. 4:8)
And the song of the 24 elders (already in heaven with You, and have gotten past the "I" stuff!)
"Worthy are You, our Lord and our God, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things, and because of Your will they existed, and were created." (Rev 4:11)
Even when "our" comes up, it is referring to You - and recognizing that without You and Your will, we would not be created, would be non-existent, nothing.) (Anything at all that we are is by Your choice, Your decision, Your love which longs to reach out and love ... we are made FOR YOU. Period). (For Your glory) (And for Your joy and pleasure! Truly amazing, that!).
"Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power and riches and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing." (Rev 5:12)
And then every created thing that exists everywhere in all of creation - in heaven and earth, every place that is - all created by You! ... worship You together:
"To Him who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb, we blessing and honor and glory and dominion forever and ever." (Rev 5:13)
And the great multitude from every nation and tribe and people and tongue cry out with a loud voice:
"Salvation to our God who sits on the throne and to the Lamb." (Rev 7:10)
And the angels and elders and four living creatures fall on their faces and worship You, saying:
"Amen, blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might, be to our God forever and ever. amen." (Rev 7:12)
(And how do YOU respond to the praise of Your people who are worshiping You before Your throne? In pride? No. You think about them!)....
"For the lamb iin the center of the throne will be their shepherd, and will guide them to springs of the water of life, and God will wipe every tear from their eyes." (Rev 7:17).
Wow. I don't think I've ever thought about You continuing to shepherd Your children, Jesus; to continue to guide them to the springs of the water of life, after they arrive in heaven! It seems like we - or I, at least - think we'll somehow be "complete" when we get there and see You face to face. But maybe what CS Lewis said includes that too - that the great adventure with You, in Your Presence, will in reality be just beginning, and will go on for eternity. FOR YOUR GLORY. And in it, You'll still be shepherding us!
FOR YOUR GLORY. (And yes, our joy and satisfaction. Wow!). But Your glory first. Always. FIRST THINGS FIRST!
Amen. Thank You.
Glory to You! And salvation and blessing and wisdom and thanksgiving and power and might and honor and dominion. To You. Our Holy God. And to Jesus, Your Son, the Lamb, our salvation. For ever and ever and ever. Amen. Thank You. Amen.
Ah yes, Matthew 26. (And I think maybe now I am at least a tad more ready to read those final chapters of Matthew. Please speak to me, Father, through Your word. Through Jesus, Your Son, Your Word! Amen! Thank You!
"He is clothed in a robe dipped in blood, and His name is called The Word of God." (Rev 19:13)