2 June 2010
There really is a limit to where our heads can take us, isn't there? You want more from us than "computer brain" rational knowing and understanding. We're totally empthy with just that, no matter how "smart" we are and how much we "know." Oh, I am sorry, Father. Forgive me, please.
Everytime I think I'm "getting somewhere" with You, thinking I've maybe finally - or for this point in time at least - discovered "Your will for me," thinking I'm in "close, good relationship with You," - You throw a new monkeywrench in! Because You know how very, very far I have still to go. And how even now, with You in me, I CAN DO NOTHING - it really is all about You!
How is it that over and over and over again I keep sliding back into the "I can do" trap? Or have I really never left it at all? Are we not "made perfect?" Well, of course not in this world - but You do see us as we will be - through Jesus - as we are in the eternal now (though still not in the temporal here and now - but moving that direction, with Your help!). And You keep bringing us out of the latter into, well toward, the goal, the reality of what You have made us (yes, perfect!) because of Jesus.
But we are still here in the shadowlands, and our old sinful bodies still seem to love the darkness, love hanging out in the Narnian stable, refusing to see the light and glory all around us.
Oh dear Jesus, I am sorry.