looking out for myself when I think I'm living for you...

1 June 2010

More from 66 Love Letters by Larry Crabb.

I've made all those notes for my "business" ... now I feel that I must - I am compelled - to go back through them and see (and record) them in terms of You at the center - Your holiness, Your love, Your purpose.

The 66 Love Letters book is really hitting me between the eyes.

I just want to be like Jesus - to have You at my center, Lord, to be free of the world's clutches.

I know I've been wandering... not meaning to, really, but sensing it happening, for sure.

I keep thinking about the stuff I think might be a good "topic" for my writing - like the un/de church/school thing. But right now it all seems like just foolish chatter to get attention and maybe make money. And I'm pretty sure that isn't Your way.

Well, I do think there is a problem with the school/church systems. But I'm wondering if its really so important... or not... inview of what is really important: You are the core, the center!

Maybe I've just been casting about for a "niche topic" to get noticed, eh?

So... I open the book again, and these are the first words I read:

"God, what You're saying is getting more and more difficult to live. No matter what happens in our lives... You want me to think more about how I'm relating to You and others than about how to get my life together. And You want me to look deep inside, into my motives, to see if I'm really looking out for myself when I think I'm living for You. Am I hearing You?" "Yes."