28 February 2010
I’ve been thinking about Amos, again. It seems like so many people now are saying, If you believe, God will not destroy you... of course, He’d prefer You to walk close to Him, but if you don’t, it’s still okay, because He loves you so much that…” Well, that what? “Obedience” seems to have become a nasty word that we shouldn’t use any more. We don’t “have to obey” because we’re not under the Law. We don’t have to “submit” either. God loves us. He wants us to be happy….. blah, blah, blah…
Oh, and of course all those nasty things out there are not from You – they are just part of life… the rain pours and the sun shines on both good and bad people (but if God loves everyone so much that He no longer demands – or even really encourages – obedience, and “justice,” and – oh, nasty phrase! – “punishment for evil” … does it even follow that there are bad people?? Which, I suppose, then lends credence to the whole universalist position…
Amos talks about “doing right.” What IS “doing right?” Apparently it no longer refers to obeying the “commandments of the Law.” Ummm…. Jesus “fulfilled the Law” … so what does that mean? That we are free to sin? Clearly not! Paul sure nixed that viewpoint! (And what about the “greatest commandment?” It was part of “the Law” … According to You, Jesus, it was the Law – the sum of it!) So what? Are we free from that, too? If we are free from loving You, and loving others… then I suppose it follows that we are free from Your love… No! That’s not possible! Is it? … Unless we choose to reject it… though of course there are many who say we don’t have a choice (either that You love everyone and everyone will come to You one way or another; or that You have Yourself chosen those You will call, and the others are already rejected… either way, no choice)…. Not to mention those who just simply don’t believe that You even exist! …. Of course, “believing” something – or someone – doesn’t exist, doesn’t negate its reality if it does exist… as, of course, the opposite also: “believing” in the existence of something/ someone does not make it so, if it isn’t true….
Oh, Father – my head is spinning! Ha! Maybe I need to take a course in logic, after all…
Amos kept saying, “Seek the Lord that you may live.” In my experience (and no doubt people will argue with that too!), life without You is not real living! You ARE Life. And You ARE Love. So life without You is life without love, too. (And that’s logical…).
The thing about all this that I don’t understand the most, is why anyone – well, at least anyone who has truly experienced Your love – would even want to do anything that would possibly interfere with their love relationship with You? They’d only be hurting themselves – and of course that’s exactly what happens…. Because, clearly, You don’t withhold Your love – You demonstrated that freely, wholly, grace-fully! – once for all – when Jesus died on the cross and rose again… and yet clearly, it hasn’t resulted in a world full of love. Far, from from it…. So it has to be us, rejecting You…
I suppose it is true that all too often, we’ve been fed a false view of You – and a false view of love – indeed, a view that is anti-Christ – a view that is actually blasphemous against You! And we do need to learn the truth – and experience that Truth – But once we’ve been there, why would we want to go back? Maybe we just really still don’t understand the Truth of Your Love… maybe we can’t imagine it is real… that Your Love is real… that You are Love and You are Real… except that, once we experience it – experience You – even if only for a moment – how can we doubt it? How can we doubt You? How can we doubt Your love? …. And yet, we do… over and over… I do – even when I don’t realize I am doubting… (and consequently, not trusting You…).
And yet, You said Yourself that the Truth is so simple a little child can understand it… Indeed, that we must become as little children in order to understand it…
Papa, I NEED to hear YOUR voice! There are so many voices shouting, that my head is spinning. Please, take me into the quiet place at Your feet, like Mary. Draw me into Your arms. Place Your peace on me. Your Spirit in my heart.
(The book says You want our hearts… don’t You want the rest of me, too? … I want ALL OF YOU…) (And I want You to want all of me…) (What kind of love rejects some parts?) (Or am I misunderstanding the writer’s point?)
(Mind you, I only want to present You with a beautiful me… I mean… it’s like I don’t want to give my kids a mom who supposedly loves them but beats on them, plays favorites, is embarrassed by them… so I try to be the best mom I can be… because I love them!) (Oh yes, but when You look at me, You look at me through what Jesus did, and You only see the beautiful me… isn’t that right? …. So I don’t have to “try to be beautiful” … and yes, this is hard for me to wrap my head around, because somehow I’ve always thought I had to make myself beautiful to You… but of course, come to think of it, I surely have NOT always been beautiful to my kids… and yet, amazingly, they still love me… and vice versa… My kids seem to love me even when I fail… mostly… and I love them when they “fail” … mostly…) (But You never fail!) (I do fail…)
(I guess I did used to think You wouldn’t love – accept, keep, be proud of, cherish – me as much if I kept failing… and maybe sometimes I still do start slipping back into that way of feeling…)
(But now… mostly! – I’ve come to know You enough to know that You DO keep on loving me – unconditionally!) (Though that last word, “unconditionally” is a pretty big concept to wrap my little mind around!! I guess it really has to be a “heart” word, eh…)
(And that constant love of Yours makes me love You even more, and makes me want to please and honor and obey and love You even more…)
(And be delighted that You are willing – eager! delighted! – in return – to help me get there…)
(So that our relationship just keeps growing and growing and growing – reaching, stretching into the perfect, wonderful, amazing, unending potentialities of YOUR LOVE – of YOU!!!)
(Yes! I do love You! And You do love me!)
(And I’m delighted to obey, worship, seek Your will – which I know is always BEST for me, because YOU LOVE ME!!!)
(Talk about the “circle of Life” … it’s the circle of Your Love!)
(And now I just went to my “scripture reading for today” – and of course it “just happens to be” the story of the greatest act of Your Love – Luke 23 and 24!!!)
(And Canada’s men’s hockey team just won Olympic Gold in overtime, lol! My tummy feeling better, every which way! )