Tuesday 14 February 2017

Am I Christian Enough?

(originally journaled August 26, 2016)

A lady, one of my "Facebook friends," is all into healing people ... and now on Facebook, she's been talking about how some people don't get healed because they really don't want to be healed or they don't believe in it. But what about people who have been praying for healing for years and really believe in it, but their prayers don't seem to get answered?

I am in so much pain from my arm injury these days. I am wondering if I should be asking for prayer for healing or just let it heal over the coming days, as the doctor says it will. I am wondering if my hesitation to pray for quick healing is just proof that I have "backslidden" too far.

I have been asked to do a presentation to a Christian writers' group, but I'm worried that I'm not "Christian enough" because I've had doubts and questions, and have gone through depression, and now because of this "healing" thing.

I really was thinking that maybe this arm injury is from You--to slow me down, make me rest, get me going in a different direction, give me more time to focus on You, Lord?

I am stressed. I miss You.
I miss journal writing to You. I miss singing.
I miss Your people. What with one thing and another I haven't been to the church gathering since June ... and only sporadically for a couple months before that.
I don't know.

I know I want to hear Your voice.
I do want to be approved by You. And loved.

I wrote a long letter to my grandkids today.
And now I'm writing this--a kind of letter to You.
I love to communicate in writing!

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