Thursday, 5 April 2018

Fitting the Puzzle Pieces Together

(Journaled February 20 ... and following up from my previous post!)

Sometimes life just seems to carry on, day after day, like a pile of jigsaw pieces scattered over a table, with no obvious pattern, direction, or picture emerging.

And then, all of a sudden, it seems like a few jigsaw pieces suddenly fall into place and, wonderful surprise, a piece of the picture emerges!

I've been having some of those serendipitous (as in, I'm sure, providential rather than accidental!) experiences lately. I was wondering and praying so long about what to do in regards to meeting with the church, feeling discouraged, not knowing where I might belong or be of help. Then we went through a "Spiritual Disciplines" study (which I'd written years ago, led once, and then shelved) at our house church gathering, and it surprisingly has given me a sense of Father's direction more than I've experienced or expected for a long time. Meantime, I started attending Anglican services (traditional ones, following the Book of Common Prayer) early on Sunday mornings, and I feel more and more at home there, though I still don't know what my part might be.

And daily, I'm so enjoying using Phyllis Tickles interdenominational Divine Hours and The Common Prayer pocket ed.(though I've also used the full edition in the past) and the Hymns of the Living Faith (which brings back so many memories of my Free Methodist childhood) and of course the Bible, using a read-through-the-Bible-in-a-year chronological process for personal devotions, as well as my own prayer lists.

I have found myself actually managing to cut way back from sugar and chocolate and baked goodies for Lent. And have come to a much better understanding about tithes and offerings--from several sources at once. And rewatched The Shack movie with friends and was reminded of God's love, which gave me a renewed trust in Papa, Jesus, and Sarayu (the Holy Spirit) despite life's circumstances.

I've been spending time with Catholic folks and fellow teachers through a Catholic school I do tutoring contract for. I've also been amazed by the way Father has been bringing Christian writers and writing into my life lately, as I'd been feeling really quite conflicted about the state of "Christian writing" in the past few years. A friend's new memoir was an encouragement, even a revelation to me of God's work in her life even with all its ups and downs. And I've discovered some really helpful websites where Christian writers have been sharing their writing journeys from the perspective of being believers.

I attended a talk recently at our local college by a First Nations friend, Greg Younging, and bought a copy of his new aboriginal writer's style guide, Elements of Indigenous Style, which I'm looking forward to reading and using, as I have been looking for clearer direction in my own writing around indigenous issues on my HaidaGwaiiBuilding Bridges website and elsewhere. Although I've been married for 35 years to a First Nations man and we have 5 children with native status, and I've been deeply involved in many indigenous activities, I've become rather paralyzed with fear about writing on indigenous issues as a white person. I feel this book is an answer to help me overcome my fears and write responsibly and thoughtfully.

Even spending some time the other day talking with some eager "Mormon missionary boys" and seeing their love for the Lord and at the same time being able to share the gospel of Christ as I've known and understood it, encouraged me to reflect more clearly on what I really believe and why, share my faith more openly, and listen to others, find where they are on their spiritual journey, and share thoughts with them from my own experiences.

I am seeing God's path and ministry for me, at least in this season of my life, is to live His love to a wide variety of people--and leave the judging to Him, the only truly knowing and understanding judge of each heart. Sometimes I've felt worry and guilt because of thoughts that I might be too "liberal" and not "strictly evangelical Christian" as in how I was brought up. But here I am, and God knows my heart, and I am becoming far more assured that He is directing my paths, and giving me courage to share the gospel of the cross of Christ, and love Him and others with His love while leaving the work of the Holy Spirit up to Him. I do believe, more and more, that God is powerful enough to do His part (I think we often don't really believe that...) and that I can trust Him even when I can't "see" the answers to my prayers or understand His ways with my so-limited human heart.

A recent blog post from the Simple Church Journal, "Starting Churches Is Not the Mission," (by Roger Thoman) was a real encouragement to me, and a confirmation of how those jigsaw pieces in my spiritual puzzle have been fitting together. It stated:

Our mission always begins with people. The people whom God has called us to.... That is where we must begin to walk out an organic, Jesus-following, fruitful lifestyle with a Scriptural mission. And every one of us have different people that we are called to. Some of us are called to encourage and support out-of-church believers.... Some of us are called to work with people on the streets.... Some of us are called primarily to care for our own family for a season.... Some of us are called to work with [people of other religious beliefs].... Some of us are called to work primarily with [the groups of people we encounter in our work or recreation].... The ministry of reaching people, making disciples ... begins with the context of the people that God called you to.... the methods, and tools, and strategies will come out of the people you are called to work among. Stay there! ....focus on your mission to bring the Gospel and make disciples (followers) within that unique context.

Wednesday, 4 April 2018

"Come Out From Among Unbelievers" Or ??

(Originally journaled February 15, 2018)

2 Corinthians 6: 14-18:
"Don't team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? .... For we are the temple of the living God...
Therefore come out from among believers,
and separate yourselves from them, says the LORD.
Don't touch your filthy things,
and I will welcome you.
And I will be your Father,
and you will be my sons and daughters,
says the LORD Almighty."

Dear God, how far are we to take this "come out from among unbelievers"? This seems so harsh. How will they know we are Christians by our love if we aren't living Your love in relationship to them?

And how do we know whether or not others are truly seeking and following You--and when what they believe seems perhaps quite similar to my beliefs but is different in some points--and even whether or not I myself am truly seeking and following You? It just seems like this is a lot more complex than this scriptural advice might suggest.

Am I to totally avoid people who claim to be Christians but have what seem to be "fringe" beliefs--or whose lives, political leanings, even church services seem to have bought into the surrounding culture? Or? Am I to totally avoid people who are not believers? How then do I reach out with the gospel? And what if I'm not even sure about what I believe and whether or not I'm really on Your path?

Please, please show me Yourself, show me Your truth, show me Father, Jesus, and your Holy Spirit. Help me to trust You, seek You, obey You, follow You. Please give me discernment. Please give me Your wisdom.  I want to trust You, no matter how things seem to me. I don't want to judge others, but leave judgment to You. How does that fit in with "coming out"?