Jesus came as a man--but not as a grown man. He didn't launch His mission as the self-proclaimed expert of all things spiritual. He came into this world the same way we all do--as a baby. A helpless, vulnerable, non-potty-trained baby. He didn't come with all the answers--that came later....I can really relate to this. I spent so many years in "religion," feeling quite confident that I was a "good Christian." After all, I was deeply involved in all kinds of programs, and enjoyed plenty of pats-on-my-back. I was confident about my knowledge about the Bible. I was confident about my training and "success" as a teacher. And on and on.
On a personal level, I think I've struggled for a long time with my deconstruction. Although I've definitely been thankful for the sense of freedom (and wouldn't ever want to go back into bondage), I also have felt such a sense of loss because at the very least I had a strong sense of direction, and when things dismantled, I felt there was nothing to replace what I'd had. I think I'm finally going to be okay with that now. I think I can fully embrace this time and place, knowing that the previous stripping was necessary in order to step into this mission in the right way.
Jesus came to us as a baby, and He changed the world. I believe that if I embrace the same idea, enter this mission as a baby, and have patience with the process, I can at least make a positive difference.
In the past few years, my confidence has been battered down. Stomped on in the mud. At first, I felt that I was being moved from a "Martha" position to a "Mary" position. Probably I was pretty proud of that :-( ... But in the past while, that's been stripped away from me too. I have been brought into a place where for the most part I have really felt like "a helpless, vulnerable, non-potty-trained baby." And no, I haven't enjoyed it all that much. Lost my answers, lost my sense of direction, lost my self-confidence.
But I think Jeff has it right. This is where I need to be. Not Martha rushing around serving. Not Mary sitting at Jesus' feet. Not even a child sitting on Jesus' lap. But a baby. Totally dependant on Jesus.
And yes, permanently dependent :-)
(Now, go read the rest of Jeff's post!)