prayers 1

(Over the next couple weeks or so I'll be sharing some of my "daily prayers." Some parts are my own words, others are quoted from other sources. I'll be leaving out personal names and details.)

"Launch out into the deep (Luke 5:4). How deep He does not say. The depth into which we launch will depend upon how perfectly we have given up the shore, and the greatness of our need, and the apprehension of our possibilities. The fish were to be found in the deep, not in the shallow water."

"So with us; our needs are to be met in the deep things of God. We are to launch out into the deep of God’s Word, which the Spirit can open up to us in such crystal fathomless meaning that the same words we have accepted in times past will have an ocean meaning in them, which renders their first meaning to us very shallow."*

Thank You for Your scriptures. Please open my heart to Your Truth by the guidance of Your Holy Spirit, and the direction of Jesus who is the Word and the Truth incarnate. Amen.

"Help me launch into the deep of the Atonement, until Christ’s precious blood is so illuminated by the Spirit that it becomes an omnipotent balm, and food and medicine for the soul and body."* Thank You for Your shed blood. Help me to appreciate it and turn to it. 

“Will I stand in God’s house by night? Will I love Him in His own night? Will I watch with Him even one hour in His Gethsemane? Will I help to bear His cross…? Will I stand beside Him in His dying moments with Mary and the beloved disciple? Will I be able with Nicodemus to take up the dead Christ? Then is my worship complete and my blessing glorious. My love has come to Him in His humiliation. My faith has found Him in His lowliness. My heart has recognized His majesty through His mean disguise, and I know at last that I desire not the gift but the Giver. When I can stand in His house by night I have accepted Him for Himself alone.”** 

But the gift is also amazing and wonderful! “On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross, the emblem of suffering and shame, And I love that old cross, where the Dearest and Best, for a world of lost sinners was slain. So I’ll cherish the old rugged cross, till my trophies at last I lay down; I will cling to the old rugged cross, and exchange it some day for a crown.”*** 

And:  “Mercy there was great and grace was free, Pardon there was multiplied to me, There my burdened soul found liberty, at Calvary.”****


* Streams In the Desert, Feb. 29 (Cowman)
** Streams In the Desert, Dec. 11 (Cowman)
*** hymn by George Bennard
**** hymn by William Reed Newall

Religion and hating and You

(originally journaled December 13, 2016)

Dear God,

Why do people hate each other so much? Why is religion such a "hating" issue?

Are You the same God of Jews, Christians, and Muslims? Or even of different sub-groups within one or another of these religions? Or a different God altogether?

Or are You so much more, and so different, than we humans can begin to imagine?

And yes, what about all those apparently hateful and judgmental verses in the Old Testament and the Koran and so on? Are they really "dictated" by You? Or are they reflections of limited human understandings of You in certain times, places, cultures?

I can see why secularists are so anti-religion. And anti-You, or at least anti the view of You perpetuated by so many religions and religionists. No wonder secularists consider that You are fairy-tale, magical thinking. (Besides not wanting any god other than themselves, of course).

Magical thinking

(originally journaled December 8, 2016)

I'm feeling annoyed--about all the people who make snide comments about how Christians engage in "magical thinking."

The fact is, all people engage in magical thinking. People who "make affirmations to the universe," people who "cross their fingers," people who "fall in love," even people who follow a lot of those exercise or diet programs. Oh! And people who buy lottery tickets!

If people are going to engage in "magical thinking," (and it does seem to be a human condition), why not THINK BIG? Reach out and embrace the biggest hope, love, possibility that you can. Get out of your little "wishful thinking box" and engage the Creator of all and see what happens. Are you afraid He might be real and your little "independent self" might not be so independent and important after all? Hmmm?

People also use phrases like "pure magic" to describe awesome events like the birth of a baby, or a beautiful piece of art, or an amazing landscape. The very fact of that love and amazement and awe shows we have a deep connection to, and need for relationship with, the transcendent.

Unneccessary burdens

(originally journaled December 1, 2016)

What unnecessary burdens am I carrying?

• News: endless reading and thinking about politics, etc.
• Worry about "religion" (though I've been dropping a lot of that).
• I hate to say it--but friends whose beliefs and ideals are far from mine and I spend too much time worrying and wondering and analysing...
• Some of those things on my to-do list that really aren't that important or necessary.
• Other people's ideas about what I should do (and be).
• Worrying about my grown children. When do they stop being my responsibility (other than to love them and pray for them)?

Please help me let these things go, Lord.
Thank You.

dreams and other things

(originally journaled November 30, 2016)

I looked up the purpose of dreams because lately, my dreams are so active. Either I feel like I'm spending hours trying to pull together new learning and fit it in with what I already knew, or my dreams have a lot of content from the past, and yet "I" am usually my current age, while others may be a lot younger.

And those dreams are active and sometimes really emotional. But I feel like I'm more in control and satisfied with life (in my dreams), and I rarely have frightening dreams now and rarely have any of the old repetitive dreams.

Well, that pretty much lines up with the explanations of dreams: adding new experiences and learning to our past learning, and then integrating them.

And the "action" seems to be a sign of a more positive outlook on life. It says when people are depressed, their dreams are often flat and dull because they are blocking their emotions. And yes, that has happened to me: much more action in my dreams recently. So I guess that means I'm pretty normal and healthy these days :-)

I also took Michael Hyatt's "Lifescore Assessment." I got a score of 73, which puts me in the "success" groups but reminds me to still set goals and work on my low score areas (like lack of exercise, poor eating, and inadequate amount of time spent in relationships).

In terms of writing, I always feel like other people have more to share than I do, and they can write or say it better, so mostly I just share or regurgitate others' work. But my goodness--those experiences yesterday with a new client (and now a friend!) were a real gift and affirmation from God!

Reasoning or the power of Christ

(originally journaled November 26, 2016)

When I write about topics that people have strong feelings about, I try to be "reasonable." But sometimes I wonder if my reasonableness is too reasonable: wishy-washy, fear of angry reaction? Do I lack "boldness," even in secular matters, not just in Christian matters?

I want to make people think. And yes, there are things I believe in and I wish other people would consider. But I don't want to jam ideas down people's throats.

I would like to think that if only people would think things through reasonably, they would find themselves wanting to seek out what is good and true. Unfortunately, I'm beginning to conclude that isn't human nature.

I guess I grew up at a time where there was a movement of young people wanting a world of "peace and love," and also at a time when there was an emphasis, by some parts of society at least, based on the "Christian culture" I grew up in (which was still fairly acceptable if not so widely agreed upon as previously). Which left me with a hope that reason, along with peace and love, could meet together in a way that would point people ultimately to Jesus, the Way, the Truth and the Life.

I'm guessing I underestimated human nature as it unfortunately actually is. An awful lot of evil (mixed in with some goodness...). Only able to be overcome by the power of Christ--not by human "reasoning" (you'd think I'd have "got" that, seeing as how well the "apologetics" approach in the mid-to-late 20th century succeeded, or rather, didn't succeed very well at all).

soul-anguish

(originally journaled November 9, 2016)

Yesterday and this morning, I've been skimming through the My Church Journey blog, starting from the beginning, around 2000, and moving forward (I got to 2008 so far). I was intending just to focus on "prayer" posts. But they are all prayer posts pretty much. (I was hoping to put together my "prayer book" I've been wanting to write for so long).

I am feeling ... I don't know. It seems like sometimes I was so in relationship with God. But other times so dry. How can the latter come after the former?

And sometimes such high hopes and excitement. Followed by (dare I say?) disappointment or at least wondering "Why?"

Yet all along the way, knowing You are there, even when it seemed like I'd wandered so far from You (in different ways at different times).

"Great is thy faithfulness O God my Father / There is no shadow of turning with Thee. / Thou changest not, thy compassions they fail not; / As thou hast been thou forever wilt be. / ... Morning by morning new mercies I see."

Time has passed so quickly. Have I "failed?" Maybe not, after all. Maybe just my plans were not Your plans. You do know best.

Oh! Listen to this! "The most deeply taught Christians are generally those who have been brought into the searching fires of deep soul-anguish. If you have been praying to know more of Christ, do not be surprised if He takes You aside into a desert place, or leads you into a furnace of pain."

Well, that explains a lot!