30 May 2010
"As the deer panteth for the water/ So my soul longeth after Thee./ You alone are my heart's desire/ And I long to worship Thee./ You alone are my strength, my shield./ To You alone may my spirit yield./ You alone are my heart's desire/ And I long to worship Thee." (A. Martin Nystrom, lyrics)
Oh dear God, that is what I want: for You alone to be my heart's desire! That is the CORE I've been seeking in this whole writing business, experience, journey.
I'm not even so sure - or concerned (!) - anymore about the whole "writing as a way to make money" thing. I've studied the world's way of "writing success." I already know that I do not want ads on my sites that might be pushing "products" I do not believe in myself. And I am most certainly not interested in multi-level marketing. I've been there before, and I am convinced that it is NOT Your way, most definitely. Though its proponents (the few who make it big and live on the misery of the endless downliners who toil for pennies or less) advance it with mighty "religious fervor!"
I do like the idea of giving most of my "product" (my writing, what You have shown me, taught me) away for free. I'm not so sure about the "selling" of the "deeper details." Though I do see the point of selling paper-published materials for those who want them - and/or e-books. What the proceeds of those sales are used for - I'm not so sure about that. Father?
In Your word (in Paul's writing, especially) we read that we are to support ourselves by working with our hands. And I guess I am wondering, in an information-based society (to a large degree) as ours is, what all does that include? Teaching has been a "time-honored profession" (and I've certainly supported myself by it!), as have speaking, writing books and articles, leading seminars, and so on. And I do think that they are, for those talented, gifted, skilled in those ways, legitimate ways to earn a living.
I am, however, concerned about where one draws the line, or if one even does so, between making a living, and sharing You. I see too clearly what can happen when sharing You turns into a "profession." Paul had a definite, hands-on profession (tent-making) to earn his bread-and-butter. But what about Peter and the others whom You called away from fishing for fish, Jesus? You did, didn't You?
And the "hands-on" things I've done... Well, mothering is pretty much done (though grand-mothering, and a bit of mothering on a more sisters/friends-relational level, continue. But of course mothering was never really a money-making proposal anyway!). And teaching: You called me out of that, for many very important reasons, and now I'm probably too close to retirment age, and certainly getting too tired. Then there is working in restaurants and such. But my physical strength is wavering. And I will not engage in direct sales anymore of things that are too often superfluous, luxury-type items. Dust collectors. Just stuff. Ha! It is hard to have values, sometimes. It does seem to cut one off from many of the world's "opportunities."
I don't live in a world of "extended families" where older women live with the younger family members and help and guide them. But I do want to be a Titus 2:3-5 woman:
"Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good 5. so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored." (Titus 2:3-5).
But it just doesn't seem to make much "sense" in today's world (at least in our North American mainstream society). I think I could do this, through my writing, somewhat. And I do it already with my own children and grandchildren as much as I can. I think I also have opportunity to do that to some degree in the "street family" You have connected me with. I'd like to do it, too, with young women I know - but it seems that what they mostly want is a babysitter, so they can get some "alone time," or be able to "get a job" (much of which goes to pay the babysitter, oh yeah). And, well Papa, You know I'm just not strong enough now for any long-range babysitting. Oh, I would love to facilitate or guide women into learning to spend time with You - and to live simply!
It seems, too - mainly - that what I'm able to do (okay, what You seem to be leading me to do) is scriptural: but not necessarily money-making! So obviously I need to learn to live even more simply. It's not so hard for me, but at the same time it's not so easy for some significant others in my life. You'll have to take care of that, if this is what You want. And Yes, I need to learn to trust You to provide for our needs!
MY WRITING HAS TO BE CENTERED ON RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU! That is IT!!! The CORE!!!
I don't know about the "business side" of it. I see different ways it can be done - even some apparently pretty good, moral, decent ways. And there are lots of "professional Christian writers." But maybe I should not be depending on that, but rather should just let You care of that end of things - IF this is Your plan for me...
I guess I am "planning" again, instead of walking step-by-step with You, taking the "opportunities to work" that You send along the way?!? Hmmmm....
Papa, it would be so nice to be part of a part of Your family that has some young women with husbands and children. Though I guess I do also have that in my own family, don't it? Yes!!! :-)
I'd still love to be the "granny home-school lady" in a close-knit community. Papa?? (Though the things I personally wish for usually seem to end up not being very good for me in the long run, or even in the short term. Oh Papa! I want Your will, Your plans and purposes, Your best for me.
I guess maybe I'm still trying to "succeed" eh? Help me, please, to just rest in You, just desire Your pleasure, wrapped in Your love. (And return that love to You - and to others, too).
Thank You! Amen! Amen. :-)
(I do believe - as I am talking to You right now - that I need to have lots of hands-on mixed in with my writing. How - is up to You) (Maybe even be a granny in my own little neighborhood complex, right here?)
Wednesday, 2 June 2010
found my core!!!
30 May 2010
66 Love Letters by Larry Crabb.
"That early morning I saw myself as I really am, a mere Christian, a hungry follower of Jesus who desperately wants to hear whatever God is telling me, a man [woman!] in misery who wants only one thing, not relief from misery (although that would be nice), but hope - hope of intimacy and meaning and joy forever, in relationship with God." (p xviii)
That's what I want! That's my "core"!!!
"We try to reach the heart of God without listening to [reading] the Word of God. When I couldn't see Rachel [wife-to-be-one-day], I discovered her heart by reading her words [in her letters]. That's a good plan to follow with God." (p xix)
I just realized - that's probably why I love journaling so much. I grew up writing long letters to many friends and relatives, who reciprocated. Then, when I was home schooling my children in a rather remote community where there were few other home schoolers, I became part of a large community of people walking that journey together, all over the world, and we wrote long email letters daily.
But in the past few years, I have found few people who have the time, energy, interest, or inclination for that kind of long, deep discussion - whether written, or face-to-face spoken. I did belong to a couple really interesting "Bible study" groups that really did delve together into the Word, and we totally invited - asked, begged, cried out to - Father to be part of, to lead, our conversations. But those meetings were once a week, for a couple set hours each time. Not like letter writing, which one can sit down and continue, any time, any place.
At the time I really started journaling, I had needed some one to communicate with on a deep level. Rarely having any one (I tried, but people were busy, or far away, or not inclined, or whatever) I started writing in journals. Some of it was just "dumping, getting it all out." Things were really tough in my life just then. Maybe it was a good thing I was dumping on paper rather than on real people!
But then, every once in a while when I'd emptied my torn heart until I had nothing more to say, I would start to hear Father's voice in the empty silence. At about that time, a pastor recommended actually asking the Lord to speak through His word, directly to yourself, and to write down whatever you hear Him say. That was a kind of novel idea to me. I started trying it, with my daily Bible reading, and when I would (delightedly!) hear His voice in the midst of my journaling/ Bible study note taking, I'd write down what I heard Him say - to me!
And I'd ask questions about what He'd just said. Or I'd thank Him over and over, in awe that He'd actually talk directly to me, like that.
And reading the quotes above, just now, I realized: For me this is THE CORE I've been seeking. I've been looking for a writing related business, but needing a center. Needing a hub. Thank You, Lord. This is the One Thing I've been seeking! Hearing You, learning from You, sharing what You teach me. (Far more exciting and far more important that "internet marketing" or something like that).
"With a growing awareness of the biblical narrative and a deep commitment to always knowing more, visions and prophetic words and impacting passages and inner sensations have their place. But without that awareness and commitment, these avenues of communication from God might instead become opportunities for self-serving imagination." (p xx)
That's exactly right! At the same time I started journaling, I had also been digging deep in Your word - looking for answers, encouragement, direction. anything that might rescue me or at least keep my head above water (even literally: I was going through such a dark time that one day I cam very close from jumping from a high bridge into fast-flowing icy waters in mid-winter. I didn't, though. God spoke to me as I stood there on th edge, longing to jump and float away into ... well, oblivion, endless sleep - that's what I longed for. And maybe, who knows (You do, of course), maybe You'd been teaching Me to hear Your voice, while reading Your word, and writing in my journal, to prepare me to be able to hear Your voice in that very moment.)
I was never much for "visions and prophetic words." So for me, desperately reading Your word, and dumping my breaking heart on paper (and in the process, starting to hear from You)...
Well, I didn't really know You as "Father" at that stage. You know I'd had "father" issues of my own. But You were preparing my heart, softening it, making me long for both father and Father conversations - and relationships. When I began to heart your voice - and then, timidly, tenuously, even doubtful of whether this "hearing God's voice" experience was "real" or "right" or even "allowed," I began to actually converse with You - with paper and pen in those difficult mama times.
And slowly, I began to experiment with the possibility that You might want to have some kind of Father-child relationship with me.
Then You sent along The Shack. And whatever other folks may think about that book, through it You reached into my heart - and suddenly I knew! You love me! You love me!! You love me!!!
You are my Father! Even better, You are my Papa! My loving Papa! And conversing with You is good and right and natural and wonderful and love-ly!!!
My journaling after that simply became more and more conversations with You, my Papa-Father. I'd so often start out just writing about what I had been doing or experiencing, or making notes from what I was reading in Your word. But next thing I knew, I'd be talking directly to You, my Papa - and to my Savior Jesus, and to my Holy Spirit.
("My Holy Spirit" - that still sounds kind of surprising to me. Of course I know He's Your Spirit - but He's also "mine" in the sense that I am Yours and You are mine. And You three are One, and I am united with You forever because of the shed blood and the resurrection life of my Jesus!) (Yes!)
It is true that the words we "hear" You speak in our hearts must be backed up by Your written word, as Your Spirit guides us and teaches us through it. And not just by a line or verse or chapter here or there, but by knowing - reading over and over and over again - and asking You, Father, to teach me and guide me with Your Spirit speaking to my spirit - the whole big story, even the apparently old and obscure and "difficult" parts. And the more I get into it, the more it all comes together, the more it is inter-connected. The more I SEE. And the more easily I know whether those words I hear in my heart (even "prophetic words and visions"!) are really You speaking - or just me, my wishes and pre-suppositions, or the "teachings of men," or the deceit of the enemy - or all of those together....
Not only is knowing "God's word" necessary in that way, but it becomes a delight, something I long for, thirst for, can't get enough of. Though the enemy and my flesh sure do their best to distract me and to supply fake but apparently attractive alternaties. Because Your word becomes a real, live, relational, love conversation between me and my Papa.
"Oh God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul yearns for You, my flesh yearns for You, in a dry and weary land where there is not water... 4 So I will praise You as long as I live... 5... and my mouth offers praises with joyful lips. 6. when I remember You... I meditate upon You... 8. My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me." Psalm 63:1-8
So when I read - and write - together, and I jot down what You speak to me; then we are sharing our hearts, writing love letters to each other, together. Praise Your holy Name! Thank You, Jesus, for making it all possible. Yes! Praise the Lord! Amen!
66 Love Letters by Larry Crabb.
"That early morning I saw myself as I really am, a mere Christian, a hungry follower of Jesus who desperately wants to hear whatever God is telling me, a man [woman!] in misery who wants only one thing, not relief from misery (although that would be nice), but hope - hope of intimacy and meaning and joy forever, in relationship with God." (p xviii)
That's what I want! That's my "core"!!!
"We try to reach the heart of God without listening to [reading] the Word of God. When I couldn't see Rachel [wife-to-be-one-day], I discovered her heart by reading her words [in her letters]. That's a good plan to follow with God." (p xix)
I just realized - that's probably why I love journaling so much. I grew up writing long letters to many friends and relatives, who reciprocated. Then, when I was home schooling my children in a rather remote community where there were few other home schoolers, I became part of a large community of people walking that journey together, all over the world, and we wrote long email letters daily.
But in the past few years, I have found few people who have the time, energy, interest, or inclination for that kind of long, deep discussion - whether written, or face-to-face spoken. I did belong to a couple really interesting "Bible study" groups that really did delve together into the Word, and we totally invited - asked, begged, cried out to - Father to be part of, to lead, our conversations. But those meetings were once a week, for a couple set hours each time. Not like letter writing, which one can sit down and continue, any time, any place.
At the time I really started journaling, I had needed some one to communicate with on a deep level. Rarely having any one (I tried, but people were busy, or far away, or not inclined, or whatever) I started writing in journals. Some of it was just "dumping, getting it all out." Things were really tough in my life just then. Maybe it was a good thing I was dumping on paper rather than on real people!
But then, every once in a while when I'd emptied my torn heart until I had nothing more to say, I would start to hear Father's voice in the empty silence. At about that time, a pastor recommended actually asking the Lord to speak through His word, directly to yourself, and to write down whatever you hear Him say. That was a kind of novel idea to me. I started trying it, with my daily Bible reading, and when I would (delightedly!) hear His voice in the midst of my journaling/ Bible study note taking, I'd write down what I heard Him say - to me!
And I'd ask questions about what He'd just said. Or I'd thank Him over and over, in awe that He'd actually talk directly to me, like that.
And reading the quotes above, just now, I realized: For me this is THE CORE I've been seeking. I've been looking for a writing related business, but needing a center. Needing a hub. Thank You, Lord. This is the One Thing I've been seeking! Hearing You, learning from You, sharing what You teach me. (Far more exciting and far more important that "internet marketing" or something like that).
"With a growing awareness of the biblical narrative and a deep commitment to always knowing more, visions and prophetic words and impacting passages and inner sensations have their place. But without that awareness and commitment, these avenues of communication from God might instead become opportunities for self-serving imagination." (p xx)
That's exactly right! At the same time I started journaling, I had also been digging deep in Your word - looking for answers, encouragement, direction. anything that might rescue me or at least keep my head above water (even literally: I was going through such a dark time that one day I cam very close from jumping from a high bridge into fast-flowing icy waters in mid-winter. I didn't, though. God spoke to me as I stood there on th edge, longing to jump and float away into ... well, oblivion, endless sleep - that's what I longed for. And maybe, who knows (You do, of course), maybe You'd been teaching Me to hear Your voice, while reading Your word, and writing in my journal, to prepare me to be able to hear Your voice in that very moment.)
I was never much for "visions and prophetic words." So for me, desperately reading Your word, and dumping my breaking heart on paper (and in the process, starting to hear from You)...
Well, I didn't really know You as "Father" at that stage. You know I'd had "father" issues of my own. But You were preparing my heart, softening it, making me long for both father and Father conversations - and relationships. When I began to heart your voice - and then, timidly, tenuously, even doubtful of whether this "hearing God's voice" experience was "real" or "right" or even "allowed," I began to actually converse with You - with paper and pen in those difficult mama times.
And slowly, I began to experiment with the possibility that You might want to have some kind of Father-child relationship with me.
Then You sent along The Shack. And whatever other folks may think about that book, through it You reached into my heart - and suddenly I knew! You love me! You love me!! You love me!!!
You are my Father! Even better, You are my Papa! My loving Papa! And conversing with You is good and right and natural and wonderful and love-ly!!!
My journaling after that simply became more and more conversations with You, my Papa-Father. I'd so often start out just writing about what I had been doing or experiencing, or making notes from what I was reading in Your word. But next thing I knew, I'd be talking directly to You, my Papa - and to my Savior Jesus, and to my Holy Spirit.
("My Holy Spirit" - that still sounds kind of surprising to me. Of course I know He's Your Spirit - but He's also "mine" in the sense that I am Yours and You are mine. And You three are One, and I am united with You forever because of the shed blood and the resurrection life of my Jesus!) (Yes!)
It is true that the words we "hear" You speak in our hearts must be backed up by Your written word, as Your Spirit guides us and teaches us through it. And not just by a line or verse or chapter here or there, but by knowing - reading over and over and over again - and asking You, Father, to teach me and guide me with Your Spirit speaking to my spirit - the whole big story, even the apparently old and obscure and "difficult" parts. And the more I get into it, the more it all comes together, the more it is inter-connected. The more I SEE. And the more easily I know whether those words I hear in my heart (even "prophetic words and visions"!) are really You speaking - or just me, my wishes and pre-suppositions, or the "teachings of men," or the deceit of the enemy - or all of those together....
Not only is knowing "God's word" necessary in that way, but it becomes a delight, something I long for, thirst for, can't get enough of. Though the enemy and my flesh sure do their best to distract me and to supply fake but apparently attractive alternaties. Because Your word becomes a real, live, relational, love conversation between me and my Papa.
"Oh God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul yearns for You, my flesh yearns for You, in a dry and weary land where there is not water... 4 So I will praise You as long as I live... 5... and my mouth offers praises with joyful lips. 6. when I remember You... I meditate upon You... 8. My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me." Psalm 63:1-8
So when I read - and write - together, and I jot down what You speak to me; then we are sharing our hearts, writing love letters to each other, together. Praise Your holy Name! Thank You, Jesus, for making it all possible. Yes! Praise the Lord! Amen!
all things you ask in prayer??!!
30 May 2010
Matthew 21:21 "Truly I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree [which instantly withered at Jesus' command], but even if you say to this mountain, 'Be taking up and cast into the sea,' it will happen. 22. And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive."
Including the little things ... and sometimes even when we don't believe very well???
This morning I tied Pastor P's big birthday cake onto my granny cart to take it to street church breakfast. I prayed (earnestly!) that it wouldn't tip and slide into the side of the cake box and get smushed (since the cart has to be tipped in order to push/pull it).
I pushed the cart very carefully, and kept checking the cake, and readjusting the rope when the cake would start to slide. And I kept praying. But very gradually, definitely, the cake was still sliding closer and closer to the side of the box.
And suddenly, the cart got caught on a bump in the pavement and lurched in the opposite direction - tipping right over, and dragging me over too!
I cried out desperately to Father, feeling sure the cake would be terribly smushed, because a similar situation had happened to me once before with some other baked goodies I'd been transporting. But when I tremblingly righted the cart and looked at the cake - it was fine! In fact, it has slid back to its proper position in the middle of the platter.
I was astounded!
But then I realized that Father had answered my prayer. By allowing the tip-over in the opposite direction, the cake was actually saved from getting smushed!
Wow! Thank You, Lord! Amen! :-)
Matthew 21:21 "Truly I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree [which instantly withered at Jesus' command], but even if you say to this mountain, 'Be taking up and cast into the sea,' it will happen. 22. And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive."
Including the little things ... and sometimes even when we don't believe very well???
This morning I tied Pastor P's big birthday cake onto my granny cart to take it to street church breakfast. I prayed (earnestly!) that it wouldn't tip and slide into the side of the cake box and get smushed (since the cart has to be tipped in order to push/pull it).
I pushed the cart very carefully, and kept checking the cake, and readjusting the rope when the cake would start to slide. And I kept praying. But very gradually, definitely, the cake was still sliding closer and closer to the side of the box.
And suddenly, the cart got caught on a bump in the pavement and lurched in the opposite direction - tipping right over, and dragging me over too!
I cried out desperately to Father, feeling sure the cake would be terribly smushed, because a similar situation had happened to me once before with some other baked goodies I'd been transporting. But when I tremblingly righted the cart and looked at the cake - it was fine! In fact, it has slid back to its proper position in the middle of the platter.
I was astounded!
But then I realized that Father had answered my prayer. By allowing the tip-over in the opposite direction, the cake was actually saved from getting smushed!
Wow! Thank You, Lord! Amen! :-)
the chief priests and scribes had plenty to be upset about !
May 30, 2010
Matthew 21:1-16
Well! The chief priests and scribes did have plenty to be upset about with You, Jesus - at least according to their perspective!
The crowds were praising You as You were about to enter the city! And they were doing it will all the symbolism of a King entering His royal city. There You were, riding on a donkey, the cloaks of Your servants spread on the donkey's back, and on the road before you. And fresh branches spread in the road... (Which was not only upsetting to the Jewish leaders, who enjoyed being the "rulers" ... but also threatened their cozy relationship with the Romans. An upstart Jewish king was a sure way to bring down the wrath of the Roman emperor!)
The crowds were also accepting You as a prophet sent from God - and not only a prophet, but THE prophet, the messianic hope (which was "blasphemous" in the eyes of the Jewish rulers... and their concerns in #1 as well)
And then You have the nerve to drive out all the buyers and sellers from the temple. After all, the buying and selling was a time-honored profession, "necessary" to temple worship, and doubtless a not insignificant source of income for the temple, and those who ruled over it. Not to mention an affront to tradition!!! And then You accused them of turning God's house of prayer into a "robber's den." Which of course they would consider a personal affront, as they viewed themselves as the most righteous, praying folks around. While You were some uneducated country-bumpkin upstart, who apparently thought Your relationship with God was superior to theirs! You seemed to have some foolish idea of praying to God as Your Father - some crazy idea that men could have a close, familial relationship with the Fear of the Israelites! And to accuse them (because they were "in charge" of the temple and its traditions) of being robbers - too, too much!
The blind and the lame came to You in the temple. The blind and the lame didn't belong in the temple. Only people who were "clean" could enter - not people with disfunctional and diseased bodies. And not only did You allow them to follow You in - but You healed them! The temple was not a place for healing! How dare You! (Not to mention that it made You very popular - and the healed folks were following You around and hanging off all Your teachings, and actually believed You were sent by God! And beginning to question their religious leaders, and certainly not showing them the #1 respect they deserved! And it didn't help that You apparently believed that physical and spiritual healing were somehow intertwined - and that You had the unmitigated gall to think that You could heal people's bodies - and, blasphemy of blasphemies - forgive their sins, too! So people were beginning to suspect You were more righteous, had more authority from God, than the scribes and Pharisees and other religious leaders!)
And then the children - who should of course be seen but not heard, and treat adults with extreme deference - especially in them temple!!! The children were shouting praises to You in the temple! And, like the crowds had done in the road outside Jerusalem's gates, referring to You as the "Son of David," the promised messianic kingly deliverer (back to #1 and 2)
And You were definitely NOT the Messiah/ Christ those religious leaders were looking for (if they were looking for one at all, in reality... because it would have been very inconvenient for them!)
Good thing we're never like those self-centered, self-righteous Jewish religious leaders, eh. Right... Oh dear, oh dear... Please forgive us, Jesus. Please forgive me.... (Thank You)
Matthew 21:1-16
Well! The chief priests and scribes did have plenty to be upset about with You, Jesus - at least according to their perspective!
The crowds were praising You as You were about to enter the city! And they were doing it will all the symbolism of a King entering His royal city. There You were, riding on a donkey, the cloaks of Your servants spread on the donkey's back, and on the road before you. And fresh branches spread in the road... (Which was not only upsetting to the Jewish leaders, who enjoyed being the "rulers" ... but also threatened their cozy relationship with the Romans. An upstart Jewish king was a sure way to bring down the wrath of the Roman emperor!)
The crowds were also accepting You as a prophet sent from God - and not only a prophet, but THE prophet, the messianic hope (which was "blasphemous" in the eyes of the Jewish rulers... and their concerns in #1 as well)
And then You have the nerve to drive out all the buyers and sellers from the temple. After all, the buying and selling was a time-honored profession, "necessary" to temple worship, and doubtless a not insignificant source of income for the temple, and those who ruled over it. Not to mention an affront to tradition!!! And then You accused them of turning God's house of prayer into a "robber's den." Which of course they would consider a personal affront, as they viewed themselves as the most righteous, praying folks around. While You were some uneducated country-bumpkin upstart, who apparently thought Your relationship with God was superior to theirs! You seemed to have some foolish idea of praying to God as Your Father - some crazy idea that men could have a close, familial relationship with the Fear of the Israelites! And to accuse them (because they were "in charge" of the temple and its traditions) of being robbers - too, too much!
The blind and the lame came to You in the temple. The blind and the lame didn't belong in the temple. Only people who were "clean" could enter - not people with disfunctional and diseased bodies. And not only did You allow them to follow You in - but You healed them! The temple was not a place for healing! How dare You! (Not to mention that it made You very popular - and the healed folks were following You around and hanging off all Your teachings, and actually believed You were sent by God! And beginning to question their religious leaders, and certainly not showing them the #1 respect they deserved! And it didn't help that You apparently believed that physical and spiritual healing were somehow intertwined - and that You had the unmitigated gall to think that You could heal people's bodies - and, blasphemy of blasphemies - forgive their sins, too! So people were beginning to suspect You were more righteous, had more authority from God, than the scribes and Pharisees and other religious leaders!)
And then the children - who should of course be seen but not heard, and treat adults with extreme deference - especially in them temple!!! The children were shouting praises to You in the temple! And, like the crowds had done in the road outside Jerusalem's gates, referring to You as the "Son of David," the promised messianic kingly deliverer (back to #1 and 2)
And You were definitely NOT the Messiah/ Christ those religious leaders were looking for (if they were looking for one at all, in reality... because it would have been very inconvenient for them!)
Good thing we're never like those self-centered, self-righteous Jewish religious leaders, eh. Right... Oh dear, oh dear... Please forgive us, Jesus. Please forgive me.... (Thank You)
opening my eyes, gaining my sight!
May 30, 2010
Matthew 20:34 "Moved with compassion, Jesus touched their eyes; and immediately they regained their sight and followed Him."
Jesus! :-) You have done this for me so many times in so many ways! You see how blind I am - and You open my eyes - and I can't help but follow You. Because You love me! And with You I have joy!
(Only I think maybe I'm more like the blind guy who, when You touched His eyes, first he saw people who looked like tree trunks - and You had to touch his eyes again so that he saw clearly ... only with me it seems like You have to touch my eyes again and again and again...
You healed my soul, forgave me, brought me into relationship with You and Father and Your Spirit - but the "following" part seems to include a whole lot more eye openings/ healings.
Matthew 20:34 "Moved with compassion, Jesus touched their eyes; and immediately they regained their sight and followed Him."
Jesus! :-) You have done this for me so many times in so many ways! You see how blind I am - and You open my eyes - and I can't help but follow You. Because You love me! And with You I have joy!
(Only I think maybe I'm more like the blind guy who, when You touched His eyes, first he saw people who looked like tree trunks - and You had to touch his eyes again so that he saw clearly ... only with me it seems like You have to touch my eyes again and again and again...
You healed my soul, forgave me, brought me into relationship with You and Father and Your Spirit - but the "following" part seems to include a whole lot more eye openings/ healings.
street church!
May 30, 2010
Awesome morning! thank You, Father!
Went to street church gathering early (but should have listened to You and gone even earlier... just didn't want to get out of my comfy bed even though I was awake and chatting with You...)
Anyway, got there a bit early, and prayed while I was outside alone... and found out later than Pastor P and R were inside praying while they prepped the coffee and such... and then they came outside, and other people started turning up, and we were praying together! (Just like I was hoping would happen...)
We got the coffee started, but took it easy getting the ham and eggs started on the grill... and people gathered in, and there was more conversation - including more about and with You, too!.
And then after most folks had finished eating (and conversing... it just carried on once it got started, and we didn't rush like we have been), we cleaned up a bit, but didn't rush. A couple folks got in a hurry and started to put away the lawn chairs, but we put them out again...
And so there was still food and coffee sitting out there available, just not cooking anymore ... and people weren't rushing off, and we had an awesome conversation/ gathering time.
You sent along that sad and lonely man whose wife of 25 years just passed away a few days short of their 25th anniversary. And he was wondering (and kind of angry at You, and certainly hurting) why You would take her, his best friend, away from him like that... and Pastor P was able to talk to him about that, and others too... And he was wondering why You would let his ID and money get stolen while her ashes were being scattered, so that he was stuck here and couldn't get back to his hometown. But I am thinking that maybe it was a gift to you so that he could come and join us, and we could share with him, and love on him, and be family for him in this time of loss (he and his wife were never able to have kids, and he is feeling so alone).
Awesome morning! thank You, Father!
Went to street church gathering early (but should have listened to You and gone even earlier... just didn't want to get out of my comfy bed even though I was awake and chatting with You...)
Anyway, got there a bit early, and prayed while I was outside alone... and found out later than Pastor P and R were inside praying while they prepped the coffee and such... and then they came outside, and other people started turning up, and we were praying together! (Just like I was hoping would happen...)
We got the coffee started, but took it easy getting the ham and eggs started on the grill... and people gathered in, and there was more conversation - including more about and with You, too!.
And then after most folks had finished eating (and conversing... it just carried on once it got started, and we didn't rush like we have been), we cleaned up a bit, but didn't rush. A couple folks got in a hurry and started to put away the lawn chairs, but we put them out again...
And so there was still food and coffee sitting out there available, just not cooking anymore ... and people weren't rushing off, and we had an awesome conversation/ gathering time.
You sent along that sad and lonely man whose wife of 25 years just passed away a few days short of their 25th anniversary. And he was wondering (and kind of angry at You, and certainly hurting) why You would take her, his best friend, away from him like that... and Pastor P was able to talk to him about that, and others too... And he was wondering why You would let his ID and money get stolen while her ashes were being scattered, so that he was stuck here and couldn't get back to his hometown. But I am thinking that maybe it was a gift to you so that he could come and join us, and we could share with him, and love on him, and be family for him in this time of loss (he and his wife were never able to have kids, and he is feeling so alone).
Friday, 28 May 2010
outer appearance VS heart
OUTER APPEARANCE VS HEART
Matthew 19:23-26
The disciples were astonished to hear that it is very hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven, because, in their experience, the "righteous" people were the "religious" folks. And they were the ones who were wealthy enough to develop and parade their religiosity, so as to be perceived as righteous.
Don't we often see through those same eyes? We so easily assume that if people are "properly dressed" and "attend services regularly" and "give a lot of money" (which by the way, is not the same as giving generously, but that's another story) and "are involved in many church programs" and so forth, the they must be "righteous." At the same time we easily look down at people who don't fulfill those "religiously righteous" criteria.
And yet, many times people in poverty (or in chronic poor health, or suffering from depression, or disabled in some way, or "from the wrong side of the tracks") simply cannot meet the religiously righteous criteria. Truly poverty-stricken people spend their entire lives trying just to survive. And survival at that level can take a lot more effort and times than the jobs of many wealthy people. Also, because of their poverty, they often are not healthy enough to have the energy to "participate" very much. They cannot afford babysitters so they can attend and participate in events themselves. They are not well enough dressed (and often, not well bathed), and so they are looked down upon and snubbed by the religiously righteous, and thus are rejected from participating.
People in poverty also often have difficult underlying reasons for their poverty, such as mental illness, lack of education (do you have any idea how difficult it is to "be a good Christian" when you can't read?), or have been brought up in situations that have made it very difficult, if not impossible, to "fit it" with the "good, righteous crowd."
And yet my experiences with people on the street has shown me that many of them are open and willing and desiring to follow Jesus - just as those uneducated, smelly fishermen, Peter and James and John and Andrew, were - and Jesus eagerly calls them and accepts them - and they become faithful followers and disciples just as those men did. (It's instructive to remember that Jesus and His disciples lived outdoors much of the time, with pretty scrappy meals, and pretty much just the clothes on their backs. Can you imagine how they looked - and possibly smelled?)
Hmmm... perhaps it is easier to follow when you do NOT have riches and places of honor. Salvation, entering the kingdom of heaven, is truly impossible for mankind themselves to attain - and yet, if one has always been able to attain other things by money or effort, it can be very difficult to accept not being able to attain salvation those ways, too. Salvation has to come from God - who gladly accepts all who will believe in His Son Jesus, who IS THE WAY.
And Father never looks on the outward appearance, including both "looks" and "behaviors." A lot of people in poverty are seen as badly behaved, either in simple terms of "lack of refinement and manners," but also in terms of things like addictions, rough language, apparent unemployed laziness, stealing or begging their next meal. But Father looks right past that, to see hearts that are very often wide open to Him, that long for Him.
And at the same time, Father looks right past the "good, upright behavior" of well-dressed, well-spoken, highly educated, do-good people. And looking right past all that "goodness" or "religious righteousness," He too often sees hearts that are wrapped up in not only love of wealth, and self-righteous smugness and arrogance, but often far worse attitudes, desires, hatred... and worse.
People can change their outside.
Only You can change their hearts.
And the heart is what counts.
A changed outside does not change the heart.
But a changed heart changes everything!
Is the "established church" ready to equally accept those who are followers of Jesus, and yet are in poverty? It should be. But...
It has always been a problem, hasn't it?
Matthew 19:27-30
We may be called to leave everything of earthly value (even our own families) for Jesus' sake... but eternal life with Jesus will be infinitely worth it all. Small loss, enormous gain! Verse 30: "But many who are first will be last; and the last, first."
(Okay... I've been kind of wondering about the whole street ministry thing that I've been involved with. It has seemed lately as though my part in it (okay, my "involvement" in it ... maybe I have been "involved" more than "part of it" ... oh dear) has been kind of disintegrating. But maybe what's really needed is to let You change my heart, my attitudes, my arrogance, my presumptions and presuppositions...)
Oh Father,
Please cleanse my heart.
PLEASE.
Thank You.
Amen.
Matthew 19:23-26
The disciples were astonished to hear that it is very hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven, because, in their experience, the "righteous" people were the "religious" folks. And they were the ones who were wealthy enough to develop and parade their religiosity, so as to be perceived as righteous.
Don't we often see through those same eyes? We so easily assume that if people are "properly dressed" and "attend services regularly" and "give a lot of money" (which by the way, is not the same as giving generously, but that's another story) and "are involved in many church programs" and so forth, the they must be "righteous." At the same time we easily look down at people who don't fulfill those "religiously righteous" criteria.
And yet, many times people in poverty (or in chronic poor health, or suffering from depression, or disabled in some way, or "from the wrong side of the tracks") simply cannot meet the religiously righteous criteria. Truly poverty-stricken people spend their entire lives trying just to survive. And survival at that level can take a lot more effort and times than the jobs of many wealthy people. Also, because of their poverty, they often are not healthy enough to have the energy to "participate" very much. They cannot afford babysitters so they can attend and participate in events themselves. They are not well enough dressed (and often, not well bathed), and so they are looked down upon and snubbed by the religiously righteous, and thus are rejected from participating.
People in poverty also often have difficult underlying reasons for their poverty, such as mental illness, lack of education (do you have any idea how difficult it is to "be a good Christian" when you can't read?), or have been brought up in situations that have made it very difficult, if not impossible, to "fit it" with the "good, righteous crowd."
And yet my experiences with people on the street has shown me that many of them are open and willing and desiring to follow Jesus - just as those uneducated, smelly fishermen, Peter and James and John and Andrew, were - and Jesus eagerly calls them and accepts them - and they become faithful followers and disciples just as those men did. (It's instructive to remember that Jesus and His disciples lived outdoors much of the time, with pretty scrappy meals, and pretty much just the clothes on their backs. Can you imagine how they looked - and possibly smelled?)
Hmmm... perhaps it is easier to follow when you do NOT have riches and places of honor. Salvation, entering the kingdom of heaven, is truly impossible for mankind themselves to attain - and yet, if one has always been able to attain other things by money or effort, it can be very difficult to accept not being able to attain salvation those ways, too. Salvation has to come from God - who gladly accepts all who will believe in His Son Jesus, who IS THE WAY.
And Father never looks on the outward appearance, including both "looks" and "behaviors." A lot of people in poverty are seen as badly behaved, either in simple terms of "lack of refinement and manners," but also in terms of things like addictions, rough language, apparent unemployed laziness, stealing or begging their next meal. But Father looks right past that, to see hearts that are very often wide open to Him, that long for Him.
And at the same time, Father looks right past the "good, upright behavior" of well-dressed, well-spoken, highly educated, do-good people. And looking right past all that "goodness" or "religious righteousness," He too often sees hearts that are wrapped up in not only love of wealth, and self-righteous smugness and arrogance, but often far worse attitudes, desires, hatred... and worse.
People can change their outside.
Only You can change their hearts.
And the heart is what counts.
A changed outside does not change the heart.
But a changed heart changes everything!
Is the "established church" ready to equally accept those who are followers of Jesus, and yet are in poverty? It should be. But...
It has always been a problem, hasn't it?
Matthew 19:27-30
We may be called to leave everything of earthly value (even our own families) for Jesus' sake... but eternal life with Jesus will be infinitely worth it all. Small loss, enormous gain! Verse 30: "But many who are first will be last; and the last, first."
(Okay... I've been kind of wondering about the whole street ministry thing that I've been involved with. It has seemed lately as though my part in it (okay, my "involvement" in it ... maybe I have been "involved" more than "part of it" ... oh dear) has been kind of disintegrating. But maybe what's really needed is to let You change my heart, my attitudes, my arrogance, my presumptions and presuppositions...)
Oh Father,
Please cleanse my heart.
PLEASE.
Thank You.
Amen.
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