May 13, 2010
(In case this seems a bit scattered – you have to understand that I wrote most of it between 3:15 and 4:00 am … but after some more sleep, and some serious thinking, and research, and reflection… I am going with it!)
I just woke up with an epiphany – that’s an “ah-ha! moment” for those of you who may not have your dictionary close at hand!
Here it is: Write my Mother’s Journey blogsite story (which is currently in the form of many chapters of journal notes, mostly conversations with God) as a novel!
So how do I go about it? Hmmm…
Read some similar novels (similar storyline, similar worldview/perspective…)
Study/review on how to write good stories; and on novel forms/techniques.
Maybe even contact writers of such novels and pick their brains, ask for advice...
Father! YOU spoke this idea into my mind – and heart! Wow! It certainly never occurred to me, though I’ve wondered and wondered what to do about that site…
E-book? Maybe… but more likely (first, anyway) paperback. Self-published? Or even produced by a real publisher?!? Oh, Father! Your will be done!
Get out those writing books I ordered and start learning…
NaNoWriMo the first draft? (You know, sit down and just write, write, write…)
Print out the online blogsite edition, and read it through. Start marking it up.
(Father, You eed to help me with that – give Your direction! Some one out there – perhaps many someones – need something this book has to offer… Or You wouldn’t have planted this idea! Something You can offer them – through this book?!?!)
Read The Shack again? Other books that feature conversations with You? Papa? Please lead me to any and all books, stories, etc, that You know I need to get prepared. Thank You!
Father, that blog/web story has seemed to have just “sat there” for so long… doing almost nothing… and yet – who knows? ___ read it, didn’t she? (And if she alone was helped by it, encouraged to turn to You, walk with You more closely, that would be enough in itself. But I sense You have more. A much larger plan. Thank You! In Jesus’ name!) Lead please! Your will, Your way…
Probably, start with a “present” incident – looking back… to the beginning. And then the story of those years – and finally, back to the present again?
Integrate any suitable material from the Prayers and Meditations part of my Conversations, Reflections & Meditations website, into the Mothers Journey material. (Hmmm… better do that on the computer since so much of it is typed already… but how? Just cut-and-paste it into the current version? But I don’t want to confuse things that way…)
I can print out and work by hand as well, of course. (Yes, that small laptop would be handy, lol… the one my son and son-in-law have been encouraging me to get the past couple days… still, I really like the one I already have…)
Maybe end up with an e-book options too? Perhaps… but I hear You saying, “Traditional novel format first!” Okay. Your will. Thank You, Father.
Oh! Integrate stories from The Hill Gang story site too? Totally makes sense. A novel is STORY - not just reflection and commentary. Well then, I better “fill in the blanks there, eh! I have jotted down so many “missed” stories since I did the original. Well, this will be excellent motivation to get those written down – and those will be great story-writing practice, too. Yes!
Father? How “real life” do I make this? Oh my goodness…. What will the “real” characters think? How will they react?
Include them in the process? Papa? Is that YOU telling me that? I mean, it seems like a great, exciting idea. IF it is from You … because at the same time it seems pretty scary….
Hmmm… maybe a multi-author book? For sure, send them the drafts, proposal, etc etc as the process unfolds. And include them and their thoughts, ideas, memories in the whole process?
Wow. That would be something! You speaking into their lives – my life too – our lives, together – through the writing process, drawing us together – with You! Oh Father, that would be so amazing!
What? Write this as the beginning of a blog? A blog that tracks the entire novel-writing process, and includes others’ comments and input and suggestions and feedback? I mean, the story is the story – but what should be included, how it should be presented, writing technique… Open to all blog followers who want to be part of the process? Their comments part of the whole process? They themselves part of the process? Maybe the process becomes, in some way, the opening chapter?
Well! That would be different, for sure. That’s what “they” keep saying new writers and new on-line entrepreneurs need to do. Find a unique niche. Offer something that not only is a passion for myself – but meets needs of others, and offers them the opportunity to participate, share, learn together, produce together. On-going conversation. Involvement. Excitement!
And of course, the process then becomes its own buildup to the book’s release down the line!
Hmmm… I could actually do the process right on the Mother’s Journey” site, couldn’t I? Or maybe better yet, start a whole new site – a site that could become a “hub” for the other sites, pulling everything together.
Record all the process. List and describe other novels I read, books and other resources I research, and what I’ve learned. Post my drafts and edits and encourage people to critique. A novel-in-process. Under construction. For all the world to see – and take part in, if they like! (Has anyone else tried this? I wonder? I know that some authors, like Piers Anthony with his highly entertaining and successful Xanth series, includes many puns suggested by his readers – and gives them credit! Very multi-authored in that sense.)
Network! E-mail the 110 plus e-mail friends I have - and also notify my nearly 500 facebook friends – and the members of the e-groups I belong to, especially the writing groups, and The Word Guild Canadian Christian writers group I belong to, and the local Penticton Writers and Publishers club I attend. Send out a survey to get initial input and ideas. (And more later on, if I get stuck). And ask questions at related blogs and websites I follow. And, oh my, guess it’s time to start tweeting on twitter and hooking up to other similar networking sites (well, yes, I need to do that anyway, on my present sites, including my two main daily blogs, Pen ‘n Paper Mama and my Church Journey blog (which, now that I think of it, also has some potential material! And my other two blogsites and my website which I’ve already mentioned…
Crazy! I love it!
Oh Father, if creativity comes from You – this is surely proof of it. You, the Creator, the Source of all great creativity! Amazing!
(If this is really from You…. yes, it has to be… please show me, Father! Thank You! Woohoo!) (Is it okay to say “woo-hoo” to You?!?!?! lol…)
The automatic sprinklers just turned on outside my window… reminding me of Your Spirit… watering the dry and thirsty ground… Reminding me of You, Jesus, offering Living Water to the woman at the well of Samaria – and to her whole city – and to the whole world! Reminding me of the waters of baptism. Reminding me of sprinkling rainfall, of spring showers, of new life!
That old song comes to mind:
It’s beginning to rain, hear the voice of the Father
He’s saying “Whosoever will, come drink of My water,
I promise to pour My Spirit out on your sons and your daughters,
If you’re thirsty and dry, look up to the sky,
It’s beginning to rain!
(Well, those are the words we used to sing! I checked the internet for the lyrics – and found many versions! The original lyrics are by William and Gloria Gaither, 1979).
Oh Father! Let Your rain fall on me, on my family, on all Your children! The world! Papa, please use this book, this story – this gift from You! Thank You!
Well, I was only going to jot down a couple quick notes to help me remember this ah-ha moment when morning comes, then turn off the light and get more sleep. But now it’s almost an hour later, as Your ideas just kept coming to me, tumbling over me – and I had to switch the light back on, and write them down… as they kept coming.
Oh! The automatic sprinkler just switched off. Does that mean I can go back to sleep now? Lol… Good night!
And to my readers: It’s almost noon now. And I’ve started my new hub site. It’s definitely in the “under construction” stages … but I’ve posted this “start” there – and your comments are welcome! Check out the original site of this story to get a general idea of what it’s about. And then come join in, and become a (recognized!) participant in this newNovel Under Construction project!
Thursday, 13 May 2010
Wednesday, 12 May 2010
key notes: inspiration!
12 May 2010
As anyone who has been following this blog will have noticed, I am “taking the plunge” and trying to write seriously – become a real writer instead of a dabbler! So I’ve been reading, studying, conversing with other writers - and doing a LOT of writing.
Anyway, I’ve been collecting incredible INSPIRATION on the art of writing itself, lifestyles, entrepreneurship (yes, I’d like to make some money out of this writing thing...), and so forth. And from my many notes, I’ve been making a list of KEY notes. Because this is MY list, these keys inevitably, of course, reflect me – who I am, what I believe and value, my hopes and dreams, and the core of my life, my relationship with God. Some of my KEY notes are things I learned from others. And some of them are from me.
Wherever you are in YOUR LIFE, I hope you’ll too be inspired by some of these KEYs. And I encourage you to add KEYs that are especially yours!
INSPIRATION…. (alphabetically… in no particular order! Lol…)
Analyze your emotions responses to things. Learn about yourself. Change negatives in your life that bind you and hold you back, to positives that propel you forward. Focus on things that elicit positive emotions (love, joy, peace, contentment) rather than negative ones (see the negative ones in new ways: let them become eliciters of positive emotions).
Be inspiring yourself. Encourage others to be inspiring and amazing too! Empower them to step out as well.
Be the voice for those without one.
Be yourself – the you Creator God created you to be. Revel in it. Enjoy. Dance with Him – He is the Lord of the Dance, after all
Become a fast friend. To someone who really needs a friend. And find ways to become a better friend to your already-friends. Who are your friends anyway? Try that question out for size!
Blog every day.
Childlike simplicity: avoid complications of rules and regulations. Fun, humility, good character. Living a minimal lifestyle in an often very complicated world.
Clear your mind from being clouded by unnecessary things.
Close ties with family and true friends.
Create new out of old.
Dare to be different. Brave. Bold. Honest. Surprising. Even “wrong” (by some folks’ estimation! But cling always to Papa).
Defeat the resistance. Find something so important that it is worth overcoming all kinds of resistance, all the things that create friction in your life and slow or stop you.
Do routine things differently.
Don’t compare yourself to others; be inspired by them.
Don’t get complacent. Keep growing, learning, improving, building, exploring, taking on new challenges.
Emulate the greats. And especially the Greatest.
Find focus in an unfocused world. And share it. Share myself. And yes, share YOU, my focus… The Focus! (thank You!)
Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.
Follow your heart.
Gratefulness: for life, gifts, other people, God’s love.
Great work: meaningful, challenging, makes a difference to you and to the world, matters to you, lights you up, is inspired by and integrates your passions.
Healthy lifestyle: eat healthy, walkabout frequently, write, journal with Papa, open door hospitality.
Integrate truth into all of life.
Interview. Observe.
Keep practicing. Keep doing.
Learn. Do. Teach. (And keep the cycle going!)
Limit distractions to just the essentials.
Live as frictionless as possible. Simplify your life. Clear it of non-essential tasks (and be surprised by how many of those there really are). Focus on what you love. Change your current conditions to eliminate “necessary” tasks that you wish weren’t necessary!
Live in adventure with Jesus: know Him more, love Him more … and share His love, expressed through me.
Love!!!!
Make major life decisions in alignment with what – Who! – you truly believe in and value.
Meet others’ needs.
Never stop learning. Never stop failing. Learn from your failures: and so make them successes.
Observe! Everything is a potential source of inspiration. See from different perspectives.
Reach out to the sad and hurting. Care for the uncared-for, the “unwanted” ones.
Relationship with people who think, live simply, love freedom, see alternatively, and with those who love Jesus.
Remember: all my friends, relatives, business and education contacts – everyone I know and encounter – are support and resources in my life.
Say “yes” slowly: question why? what? when? who? where? how?
Serve. Minister. Care. Shepherd. Walk alongside. Guide. Mentor. (But don’t forget Who really leads).
Share with the world – in many small practical ways. Sharing yourself: what and who you are.
Shoot for the one great thing. Avoid frivolous extras. KISS: Keep it simple, sweetheart!
Simplify life: Less stuff. Contentedness: count your blessings. Enjoy simple, free things.
Small initial scope: better one thing done well than many things never really accomplished. What “one thing” do you want to focus on? What’s your passion? Your gifting? Your core?
Smile. And let your joy put a smile on others’ faces. Bring them to You, the Source of joy Start a wiki-type site for those who write to/about Father but fear to or don’t know how to publish their writing.
Start new things: lean, small, focused, simple, nimble, flexible, low-cost. Start now, with what you already have, what you already know and love.
Start NOW.
Start with “good enough.” Get it out there. Then improve.
Stay agile. Remain curious. Keep your eyes and heart wide open. See opportunities.
Take lots of pictures. Or better yet, sketch them yourself. In graphics. Or words. Or both.
To become “great” at something: learn from others. But mostly: do, and keep doing. For years. As long as it takes. Teaching others, too. Desire, drive, doing, daring.
Union with our Creator and God: eternal significance.
Volunteer … street ministry, home-school granny…
Walking with God: joy, contentment, unconditional love.
What is most important to you? Focus on that.
Whatever you dream, you can pursue. What do you dream? Is it worth pursuing? Does it line up with who you are and what you believe and value? How can you pursue it?
Work harder than you ever have before, on what you love and are passionate about. Pour in your heart and soul.
Write!!!! Every day!
And yes, of course this list is uncopywrited! So add to it, change it around, delete what doesn’t speak to you, improve on it, reorganize it – make it your own, and then share your list too! And post it up! And DO IT! (And remind me to keep doing mine!)
As anyone who has been following this blog will have noticed, I am “taking the plunge” and trying to write seriously – become a real writer instead of a dabbler! So I’ve been reading, studying, conversing with other writers - and doing a LOT of writing.
Anyway, I’ve been collecting incredible INSPIRATION on the art of writing itself, lifestyles, entrepreneurship (yes, I’d like to make some money out of this writing thing...), and so forth. And from my many notes, I’ve been making a list of KEY notes. Because this is MY list, these keys inevitably, of course, reflect me – who I am, what I believe and value, my hopes and dreams, and the core of my life, my relationship with God. Some of my KEY notes are things I learned from others. And some of them are from me.
Wherever you are in YOUR LIFE, I hope you’ll too be inspired by some of these KEYs. And I encourage you to add KEYs that are especially yours!
INSPIRATION…. (alphabetically… in no particular order! Lol…)
Analyze your emotions responses to things. Learn about yourself. Change negatives in your life that bind you and hold you back, to positives that propel you forward. Focus on things that elicit positive emotions (love, joy, peace, contentment) rather than negative ones (see the negative ones in new ways: let them become eliciters of positive emotions).
Be inspiring yourself. Encourage others to be inspiring and amazing too! Empower them to step out as well.
Be the voice for those without one.
Be yourself – the you Creator God created you to be. Revel in it. Enjoy. Dance with Him – He is the Lord of the Dance, after all
Become a fast friend. To someone who really needs a friend. And find ways to become a better friend to your already-friends. Who are your friends anyway? Try that question out for size!
Blog every day.
Childlike simplicity: avoid complications of rules and regulations. Fun, humility, good character. Living a minimal lifestyle in an often very complicated world.
Clear your mind from being clouded by unnecessary things.
Close ties with family and true friends.
Create new out of old.
Dare to be different. Brave. Bold. Honest. Surprising. Even “wrong” (by some folks’ estimation! But cling always to Papa).
Defeat the resistance. Find something so important that it is worth overcoming all kinds of resistance, all the things that create friction in your life and slow or stop you.
Do routine things differently.
Don’t compare yourself to others; be inspired by them.
Don’t get complacent. Keep growing, learning, improving, building, exploring, taking on new challenges.
Emulate the greats. And especially the Greatest.
Find focus in an unfocused world. And share it. Share myself. And yes, share YOU, my focus… The Focus! (thank You!)
Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.
Follow your heart.
Gratefulness: for life, gifts, other people, God’s love.
Great work: meaningful, challenging, makes a difference to you and to the world, matters to you, lights you up, is inspired by and integrates your passions.
Healthy lifestyle: eat healthy, walkabout frequently, write, journal with Papa, open door hospitality.
Integrate truth into all of life.
Interview. Observe.
Keep practicing. Keep doing.
Learn. Do. Teach. (And keep the cycle going!)
Limit distractions to just the essentials.
Live as frictionless as possible. Simplify your life. Clear it of non-essential tasks (and be surprised by how many of those there really are). Focus on what you love. Change your current conditions to eliminate “necessary” tasks that you wish weren’t necessary!
Live in adventure with Jesus: know Him more, love Him more … and share His love, expressed through me.
Love!!!!
Make major life decisions in alignment with what – Who! – you truly believe in and value.
Meet others’ needs.
Never stop learning. Never stop failing. Learn from your failures: and so make them successes.
Observe! Everything is a potential source of inspiration. See from different perspectives.
Reach out to the sad and hurting. Care for the uncared-for, the “unwanted” ones.
Relationship with people who think, live simply, love freedom, see alternatively, and with those who love Jesus.
Remember: all my friends, relatives, business and education contacts – everyone I know and encounter – are support and resources in my life.
Say “yes” slowly: question why? what? when? who? where? how?
Serve. Minister. Care. Shepherd. Walk alongside. Guide. Mentor. (But don’t forget Who really leads).
Share with the world – in many small practical ways. Sharing yourself: what and who you are.
Shoot for the one great thing. Avoid frivolous extras. KISS: Keep it simple, sweetheart!
Simplify life: Less stuff. Contentedness: count your blessings. Enjoy simple, free things.
Small initial scope: better one thing done well than many things never really accomplished. What “one thing” do you want to focus on? What’s your passion? Your gifting? Your core?
Smile. And let your joy put a smile on others’ faces. Bring them to You, the Source of joy Start a wiki-type site for those who write to/about Father but fear to or don’t know how to publish their writing.
Start new things: lean, small, focused, simple, nimble, flexible, low-cost. Start now, with what you already have, what you already know and love.
Start NOW.
Start with “good enough.” Get it out there. Then improve.
Stay agile. Remain curious. Keep your eyes and heart wide open. See opportunities.
Take lots of pictures. Or better yet, sketch them yourself. In graphics. Or words. Or both.
To become “great” at something: learn from others. But mostly: do, and keep doing. For years. As long as it takes. Teaching others, too. Desire, drive, doing, daring.
Union with our Creator and God: eternal significance.
Volunteer … street ministry, home-school granny…
Walking with God: joy, contentment, unconditional love.
What is most important to you? Focus on that.
Whatever you dream, you can pursue. What do you dream? Is it worth pursuing? Does it line up with who you are and what you believe and value? How can you pursue it?
Work harder than you ever have before, on what you love and are passionate about. Pour in your heart and soul.
Write!!!! Every day!
And yes, of course this list is uncopywrited! So add to it, change it around, delete what doesn’t speak to you, improve on it, reorganize it – make it your own, and then share your list too! And post it up! And DO IT! (And remind me to keep doing mine!)
God's words - or human perceptions and interpretations?
May 12, 2010
Matthew 9:34 But the Pharisees were saying, “He casts out the demons by the ruler of the demons.”
The Pharisees rejected Jesus’ authority and power as coming from God, and even said it came from satan (a truly blasphemous statement, from religious leaders who loved to catch and judge blasphemy in others).
We really must be careful about who and how we judge. Our immense and eternal God works in ways we don’t expect, though always within the boundaries of His unchanging, perfect character). And in our small-minded humanness, we inevitably do not know or understand Him as much as we fancy that we do.
Yes, we are to be discerning, and “test the spirits,” and line things up with God’s word. But we had better be very careful that it is truly God’s word – and not just our own preconceptions and interpretations, and those that we’ve accepted from others - that we are defending when we judge others.
The authority of Jesus rests on His followers, too (He gave it to them: See Matthew 10:1). We are not to b like the scribes and Pharisees, just parroting the interpretations of the “fathers,” but are to abide in Christ, and be led and taught by the Holy Spirit of Christ Himself.
John 16:13 “But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth…. 15. All things that the Father has are Mine; therefore I said that He [the Spirit] take of Mine and will disclose it to you.”
Look at all the things (listed in Matthew 10) that Jesus gave his disciples authority over:
- over unclean spirits to cast them out (v1, 8)
- to heal every kind of disease and sickness (v1,8)
- to preach: “The kingdom of heaven is at hand” (v 7)
- to raise the dead (v8)
- to cleanse the lepers (v8)
We are His disciples. We have His Spirit. We have His authority! He is the truth. We must ask Him always to show us HIS truth. And while pointing others to Him, and standing firm on His truth, we must be careful, finally, to let Him judge. And TO NOT JUDGE HIM!
Jesus – You ARE the Way, the Truth, and the Life. You are our Saviour. You are God incarnate. You are Emmanuel – God with us.
Thank You.!
Matthew 9:34 But the Pharisees were saying, “He casts out the demons by the ruler of the demons.”
The Pharisees rejected Jesus’ authority and power as coming from God, and even said it came from satan (a truly blasphemous statement, from religious leaders who loved to catch and judge blasphemy in others).
We really must be careful about who and how we judge. Our immense and eternal God works in ways we don’t expect, though always within the boundaries of His unchanging, perfect character). And in our small-minded humanness, we inevitably do not know or understand Him as much as we fancy that we do.
Yes, we are to be discerning, and “test the spirits,” and line things up with God’s word. But we had better be very careful that it is truly God’s word – and not just our own preconceptions and interpretations, and those that we’ve accepted from others - that we are defending when we judge others.
The authority of Jesus rests on His followers, too (He gave it to them: See Matthew 10:1). We are not to b like the scribes and Pharisees, just parroting the interpretations of the “fathers,” but are to abide in Christ, and be led and taught by the Holy Spirit of Christ Himself.
John 16:13 “But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth…. 15. All things that the Father has are Mine; therefore I said that He [the Spirit] take of Mine and will disclose it to you.”
Look at all the things (listed in Matthew 10) that Jesus gave his disciples authority over:
- over unclean spirits to cast them out (v1, 8)
- to heal every kind of disease and sickness (v1,8)
- to preach: “The kingdom of heaven is at hand” (v 7)
- to raise the dead (v8)
- to cleanse the lepers (v8)
We are His disciples. We have His Spirit. We have His authority! He is the truth. We must ask Him always to show us HIS truth. And while pointing others to Him, and standing firm on His truth, we must be careful, finally, to let Him judge. And TO NOT JUDGE HIM!
Jesus – You ARE the Way, the Truth, and the Life. You are our Saviour. You are God incarnate. You are Emmanuel – God with us.
Thank You.!
healing: spiritual and/or physical?
12 May 2010
Matthew 9:2 “… Seeing their faith, Jesus said to the paralytic, ‘Take courage, son; your sins are forgiven.’”
The friends and/or family of the paralytic had strong faith in Jesus – faith in His ability to heal physically. But being God’s Son – God incarnate, God with us! – Jesus wanted them to provide the true, eternal healing without which all other healing is only temporary and is ultimately meaningless as it ends in death anyway.
Jesus wanted to provide eternal healing, forgiving sin and restoring broken relationship with their God and Creator. He wanted them to know Him for Who He really is, and to come to Him for all He longs to provide for His lost, sin-bound children.
And then (v7) Jesus provided the physical healing as well. The scribes refused (vv 3-6) to accept the authority (capital-A Authority, vested in God alone) claimed by this up-start, uneducated, Galilean carpenter of rumored ill-met beginnings.
But the crowds – and surely the no-longer-sin-laden and no-longer-paralytic recipient of Jesus’ healing, and those who brought Him to Jesus – “were awestruck, and glorified God, who had given such authority to men. (v8)” They still didn’t truly understand all of Who Jesus is – but they had no doubt that He was sent by God.
And who knows? Perhaps the two diseased conditions, the sin and the paralysis, really were bound together, inter-woven. For sin provides the ultimate paralysis in our lives, binding up all that is good, and dragging us constantly toward destruction and death.
Much illness in our bodies, minds, and spirits is, as doctors tell us, “psycho-somatic.” And surely, at the core of our damaged psyches lies sin, “crouching at the door; and its desire is for you” (Gen 4:7), leading us into all manner of pain, illness, destructiveness. And death. (See also Matthew 9:32-33). Only the forgiveness Jesus brings us can rescue us and restore the eternal life with our Heavenly Father for which we were created.
All human effort to “master sin” (Genesis 4:8) fails. Only God, by His own sacrifice – Jesus’ death on the cross and His resurrection victory over death – could conquer sin, and the other diseases it brings.
In verses 18-19 and 25-26 of Matthew 9, we read of the girl who Jesus brings back to life. Everyone is mourning because she is dead, and they scoff when Jesus tells them she is only asleep. And yet, He was right. Physical death is only temporary. After that is eternal life with our Heavenly Father – or without Him (and instead with all the forces of evil and those who reject God).
In verses 27-31 we read of the two blind men who received back their sight “according to their faith.” Jesus told them not to tell anyone – but they couldn’t help themselves! They told everyone about what Jesus had done for them. How could they not? Every single thing they saw with their newly healed eyes was an amazing reminded to them. They were seeing the world in a totally new way, with wonder and awe. And is this not also true of us when we are forgiven by Jesus? We too, see all things through new eyes, and are full of wonder and awe, too. Even greater than the wonder of those two newly-sighted-formerly-blind-men. And how can we resist telling others?
(And yet we so often close our newly opened eyes, or at least cover them up with dark sunglasses that keep out the glorious brightness of God-with-us!).
Matthew 9:2 “… Seeing their faith, Jesus said to the paralytic, ‘Take courage, son; your sins are forgiven.’”
The friends and/or family of the paralytic had strong faith in Jesus – faith in His ability to heal physically. But being God’s Son – God incarnate, God with us! – Jesus wanted them to provide the true, eternal healing without which all other healing is only temporary and is ultimately meaningless as it ends in death anyway.
Jesus wanted to provide eternal healing, forgiving sin and restoring broken relationship with their God and Creator. He wanted them to know Him for Who He really is, and to come to Him for all He longs to provide for His lost, sin-bound children.
And then (v7) Jesus provided the physical healing as well. The scribes refused (vv 3-6) to accept the authority (capital-A Authority, vested in God alone) claimed by this up-start, uneducated, Galilean carpenter of rumored ill-met beginnings.
But the crowds – and surely the no-longer-sin-laden and no-longer-paralytic recipient of Jesus’ healing, and those who brought Him to Jesus – “were awestruck, and glorified God, who had given such authority to men. (v8)” They still didn’t truly understand all of Who Jesus is – but they had no doubt that He was sent by God.
And who knows? Perhaps the two diseased conditions, the sin and the paralysis, really were bound together, inter-woven. For sin provides the ultimate paralysis in our lives, binding up all that is good, and dragging us constantly toward destruction and death.
Much illness in our bodies, minds, and spirits is, as doctors tell us, “psycho-somatic.” And surely, at the core of our damaged psyches lies sin, “crouching at the door; and its desire is for you” (Gen 4:7), leading us into all manner of pain, illness, destructiveness. And death. (See also Matthew 9:32-33). Only the forgiveness Jesus brings us can rescue us and restore the eternal life with our Heavenly Father for which we were created.
All human effort to “master sin” (Genesis 4:8) fails. Only God, by His own sacrifice – Jesus’ death on the cross and His resurrection victory over death – could conquer sin, and the other diseases it brings.
In verses 18-19 and 25-26 of Matthew 9, we read of the girl who Jesus brings back to life. Everyone is mourning because she is dead, and they scoff when Jesus tells them she is only asleep. And yet, He was right. Physical death is only temporary. After that is eternal life with our Heavenly Father – or without Him (and instead with all the forces of evil and those who reject God).
In verses 27-31 we read of the two blind men who received back their sight “according to their faith.” Jesus told them not to tell anyone – but they couldn’t help themselves! They told everyone about what Jesus had done for them. How could they not? Every single thing they saw with their newly healed eyes was an amazing reminded to them. They were seeing the world in a totally new way, with wonder and awe. And is this not also true of us when we are forgiven by Jesus? We too, see all things through new eyes, and are full of wonder and awe, too. Even greater than the wonder of those two newly-sighted-formerly-blind-men. And how can we resist telling others?
(And yet we so often close our newly opened eyes, or at least cover them up with dark sunglasses that keep out the glorious brightness of God-with-us!).
who are the "poor"? really? wondering about the realities of caring for the poor...
May 11, 2010
Who are the truly poor? Do you ever wonder about that? Do we really have “poor people” here in our Canadian communities? I mean, “poor” compared to, say, the millions (billions, maybe?) of poverty-stricken people in “third world countries” and such?
Certainly, we hear about the high levels of poverty. Of how a lot of children go to school hungry. Of how many families are living “below the poverty line” (which, of course, would likely be considered a “well-off” line in a lot of other places…). Of ever-increasing line-ups at food banks and soup kitchens. Of people who can afford either (low-cost) housing or heat or food – but only one of those at a time. Of the numbers of people “living on the streets.”
So, yes, I’m wondering. Who are the truly poor, right among us? We are called, as believers, to care for the poor. In fact, it is one of the most repeated commands/ directives/ principles in all of scripture. How do we fulfill those?
Who are the poor? The “working poor” who, even though they work hard, don’t earn enough to cover even the very simple necessities (simple housings, a few clothes, a bit of nutritious food, etc)? Children who don’t get enough to eat? (But what about the ones whose parents use up all the income feeding their own addictions? Are those families “poor?” If we help the children by feeding them, are we inadvertently encouraging the parents to carry on with their negative behaviors? What if they have a “good reason” like mental illness, or childhood abuse, or other forms of victimization? No doubt most people would agree that we should feed hungry children, no matter what, because they are children, after all – But then, what about the adults themselves who engage in those behaviors? Should they themselves be fed and clothed with free handouts?
What about single moms struggling to feed and house and care for their children, while dead-beat dads earn good incomes but don’t take responsibility for their children? What if the mom won’t let the dad be involved or help out? What about dads raising their children, after mom has run off? Or grandparents raising their grand-kids when both parents have copped out?
What about seniors struggling to live on tiny government pensions, not even enough to pay low-cost rent, even if it was available (which it often isn’t)? Shouldn’t their families take care of them? But what if they don’t have families to care? Or their families just won’t or can’t?
What about people who’ve lost their jobs? And can’t find work in these times of recession? What about the ones who decide to stay on Employment Insurance until it runs out, and then collect welfare because it pays better than the only low-pay, part-time jobs that are available? What about the ones who refuse to take any employment other than in their chosen field and at their preferred pay level? What about people who lose their job because they have an accident or illness, and now have a “disability,” and choose not to retrain and take other work they can still do?
What about people who have “grown up on welfare” and have accepted it as a viable lifestyle or have grown up in situations where a good education and encouragement and good health – building blocks to “bettering oneself” – have not been available?
What does it mean to help the poor, right here in our communities? Make a donation at the food bank at Christmas time (or occasionally at other times)? Volunteer at a soup kitchen? Take sandwiches to people living on the street? Pay your taxes and let the government solve the problems? Donate to charities? Help build “Homes for Habitat”? Have an open-door policy, feeding those who knock on your door, like folks did back in the Depression? Taking in that family in your church who’ve lost everything due to job loss, or illness, or whatever? Making your kids share bedrooms so those other people can have bedrooms? Share your food, your television preferences, your computer, your car, your sheets and blankets, your clothes, your dishes? Or simplify your own lifestyle, downgrade to a smaller home, sell your car and walk, grow a garden instead of buying your veggies, eat at home rather than eating out (especially on Sunday after church with all your church buddies…), so you can give more “alms to the poor”? Maybe sell the church building and the sound system and the costly Sunday School program materials? (oh dear).
And what about all those truly poor people out there, those nameless faces across the oceans? (Or just south of the border … or, yes, on the “other side of the tracks” in our own communities … maybe in our own neighborhoods). (What about the little old man or lady living in your condo complex who has been there for 40 years, and is being evicted so that the landlord can raise the rent?) What about children starving to death every day all over the world? Dying for want of a few cents worth of medicine?
Where do we draw the line? How do we “judge” who the “poor” truly are? Or do we? Can our best efforts finally overcome poverty? Or is it true, as Jesus said, that we always have the poor with us? Do we choose to help some poor but not others (the early church did, to some degree, in regards to widows with families vs widows without)? Maybe just care for the poor in the church – and of those, only the ones who “deserve” it? Who decides? Where do we draw the line? How do we choose to spread our own limited resources around? How limited are our resources anyway?
Is caring for the poor really the work of the church? (And if it isn’t, what do we make of all those scriptural injunctions?) (And how does the world see the church if we don’t?) (And how does our Father see us?) Hmmm?
What do YOU think? (Seriously) (Please comment!)
Who are the truly poor? Do you ever wonder about that? Do we really have “poor people” here in our Canadian communities? I mean, “poor” compared to, say, the millions (billions, maybe?) of poverty-stricken people in “third world countries” and such?
Certainly, we hear about the high levels of poverty. Of how a lot of children go to school hungry. Of how many families are living “below the poverty line” (which, of course, would likely be considered a “well-off” line in a lot of other places…). Of ever-increasing line-ups at food banks and soup kitchens. Of people who can afford either (low-cost) housing or heat or food – but only one of those at a time. Of the numbers of people “living on the streets.”
So, yes, I’m wondering. Who are the truly poor, right among us? We are called, as believers, to care for the poor. In fact, it is one of the most repeated commands/ directives/ principles in all of scripture. How do we fulfill those?
Who are the poor? The “working poor” who, even though they work hard, don’t earn enough to cover even the very simple necessities (simple housings, a few clothes, a bit of nutritious food, etc)? Children who don’t get enough to eat? (But what about the ones whose parents use up all the income feeding their own addictions? Are those families “poor?” If we help the children by feeding them, are we inadvertently encouraging the parents to carry on with their negative behaviors? What if they have a “good reason” like mental illness, or childhood abuse, or other forms of victimization? No doubt most people would agree that we should feed hungry children, no matter what, because they are children, after all – But then, what about the adults themselves who engage in those behaviors? Should they themselves be fed and clothed with free handouts?
What about single moms struggling to feed and house and care for their children, while dead-beat dads earn good incomes but don’t take responsibility for their children? What if the mom won’t let the dad be involved or help out? What about dads raising their children, after mom has run off? Or grandparents raising their grand-kids when both parents have copped out?
What about seniors struggling to live on tiny government pensions, not even enough to pay low-cost rent, even if it was available (which it often isn’t)? Shouldn’t their families take care of them? But what if they don’t have families to care? Or their families just won’t or can’t?
What about people who’ve lost their jobs? And can’t find work in these times of recession? What about the ones who decide to stay on Employment Insurance until it runs out, and then collect welfare because it pays better than the only low-pay, part-time jobs that are available? What about the ones who refuse to take any employment other than in their chosen field and at their preferred pay level? What about people who lose their job because they have an accident or illness, and now have a “disability,” and choose not to retrain and take other work they can still do?
What about people who have “grown up on welfare” and have accepted it as a viable lifestyle or have grown up in situations where a good education and encouragement and good health – building blocks to “bettering oneself” – have not been available?
What does it mean to help the poor, right here in our communities? Make a donation at the food bank at Christmas time (or occasionally at other times)? Volunteer at a soup kitchen? Take sandwiches to people living on the street? Pay your taxes and let the government solve the problems? Donate to charities? Help build “Homes for Habitat”? Have an open-door policy, feeding those who knock on your door, like folks did back in the Depression? Taking in that family in your church who’ve lost everything due to job loss, or illness, or whatever? Making your kids share bedrooms so those other people can have bedrooms? Share your food, your television preferences, your computer, your car, your sheets and blankets, your clothes, your dishes? Or simplify your own lifestyle, downgrade to a smaller home, sell your car and walk, grow a garden instead of buying your veggies, eat at home rather than eating out (especially on Sunday after church with all your church buddies…), so you can give more “alms to the poor”? Maybe sell the church building and the sound system and the costly Sunday School program materials? (oh dear).
And what about all those truly poor people out there, those nameless faces across the oceans? (Or just south of the border … or, yes, on the “other side of the tracks” in our own communities … maybe in our own neighborhoods). (What about the little old man or lady living in your condo complex who has been there for 40 years, and is being evicted so that the landlord can raise the rent?) What about children starving to death every day all over the world? Dying for want of a few cents worth of medicine?
Where do we draw the line? How do we “judge” who the “poor” truly are? Or do we? Can our best efforts finally overcome poverty? Or is it true, as Jesus said, that we always have the poor with us? Do we choose to help some poor but not others (the early church did, to some degree, in regards to widows with families vs widows without)? Maybe just care for the poor in the church – and of those, only the ones who “deserve” it? Who decides? Where do we draw the line? How do we choose to spread our own limited resources around? How limited are our resources anyway?
Is caring for the poor really the work of the church? (And if it isn’t, what do we make of all those scriptural injunctions?) (And how does the world see the church if we don’t?) (And how does our Father see us?) Hmmm?
What do YOU think? (Seriously) (Please comment!)
Monday, 10 May 2010
and all these things will be added unto you - really?
10 May 2010
Matthew 6:33 “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
Matthew 6:20 “But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves to do break in or steal; 21. for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
You WILL take care of us here and now.
And You will take care of all our needs forever!
(And I don’t have to “worry about making enough money to survive on” if I am actually doing what You set in my path to do!)
Our heavenly, spiritual Father cares for our spiritual needs. And as our Creator, He cares for our physical needs too. But He knows we are spiritual beings most of all (created in His image), with eternity set before us. And always, therefore, His care for His children is first of all in the spiritual realm: our eternal, spiritual needs (which of course centers on our relationship with Him).
If what we see as our present, physical needs (and wants – so many of our “needs” really are just wants…) will cause us to miss out on what our loving Heavenly Father desires for us and has prepared for us – always what is best for us – we are well-advised to let those perceived needs go. And even be willing to “suffer want” right now – in light of His amazing eternal plans and care for us. Yes!
He knows our needs perfectly!
Matthew 7:11 “your Father in heaven [will] give what is good to those who ask Him.”
He KNOWS what is good, what is BEST, for us. Far more, infinitely more, than we do.
Father, please give me “what is good.”
Thank You. (And if I ask for things that aren’t good for me, please don’t give them to me…. Oh! You don’t give bad gifts, do You? (vv 9-11). But… if we insist on having them, You let us go out and get them, sometimes. Of course, then, we have to live with the consequences. And we miss out on the better things You had planned, if we’d only accepted Your good things instead.)
Be careful what you ask for, yes. And know that God knows your heart… and that if your heart is connected to His heart, because of Jesus, your heart will be asking for the “good things.” And He’ll be answering those heart-of-hearts requests – even when you don’t know you’ve asked! (Because His Spirit has asked, for you). So keep your eyes open for answered prayers you weren’t expecting! Cool, eh!
(That last bit, that ray of sunshine, was a little something I picked up from The Misunderstood God book! Thanks! To the writer, of course! And especially to You, Father! You do love me! … and in case anyone out there doubts that Father answers prayers we don’t “consciously” ask… think of the times when your earthly father – or others who love you – have given you gifts that you never thought of yourself needing, and never asked for – but they turned out to be exactly what you needed, and brought great joy and delight and provision into your life. They did it because they “know you” and love you … and Your Heavenly Father knows you and loves you far more! So very, very cool! I love You, Lord!)
Matthew 6:33 “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
Matthew 6:20 “But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves to do break in or steal; 21. for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
You WILL take care of us here and now.
And You will take care of all our needs forever!
(And I don’t have to “worry about making enough money to survive on” if I am actually doing what You set in my path to do!)
Our heavenly, spiritual Father cares for our spiritual needs. And as our Creator, He cares for our physical needs too. But He knows we are spiritual beings most of all (created in His image), with eternity set before us. And always, therefore, His care for His children is first of all in the spiritual realm: our eternal, spiritual needs (which of course centers on our relationship with Him).
If what we see as our present, physical needs (and wants – so many of our “needs” really are just wants…) will cause us to miss out on what our loving Heavenly Father desires for us and has prepared for us – always what is best for us – we are well-advised to let those perceived needs go. And even be willing to “suffer want” right now – in light of His amazing eternal plans and care for us. Yes!
He knows our needs perfectly!
Matthew 7:11 “your Father in heaven [will] give what is good to those who ask Him.”
He KNOWS what is good, what is BEST, for us. Far more, infinitely more, than we do.
Father, please give me “what is good.”
Thank You. (And if I ask for things that aren’t good for me, please don’t give them to me…. Oh! You don’t give bad gifts, do You? (vv 9-11). But… if we insist on having them, You let us go out and get them, sometimes. Of course, then, we have to live with the consequences. And we miss out on the better things You had planned, if we’d only accepted Your good things instead.)
Be careful what you ask for, yes. And know that God knows your heart… and that if your heart is connected to His heart, because of Jesus, your heart will be asking for the “good things.” And He’ll be answering those heart-of-hearts requests – even when you don’t know you’ve asked! (Because His Spirit has asked, for you). So keep your eyes open for answered prayers you weren’t expecting! Cool, eh!
(That last bit, that ray of sunshine, was a little something I picked up from The Misunderstood God book! Thanks! To the writer, of course! And especially to You, Father! You do love me! … and in case anyone out there doubts that Father answers prayers we don’t “consciously” ask… think of the times when your earthly father – or others who love you – have given you gifts that you never thought of yourself needing, and never asked for – but they turned out to be exactly what you needed, and brought great joy and delight and provision into your life. They did it because they “know you” and love you … and Your Heavenly Father knows you and loves you far more! So very, very cool! I love You, Lord!)
being afraid ... or letting You sweep me out into the depths of You!
10 May 2010
Oh, Papa! I just can’t go on like this!
I’m afraid!
I feel like somehow I’m getting way too far from where You want me.
Or maybe I’m just getting into deep water and fear that I’m going to be swept away.
I remember when I was a child, maybe 9 years old or so, and my family and a lot of friends were at the park at Woods Lake, where the creek emptied into the lake. The children were playing in the water close to shore, the dad’s were playing softball in the nearby field, the mom’s were setting up lunch on the picnic tables, and the older kids were playing water volleyball out in the deeper water next to the drop-off.
There really weren’t many kids around my age. I didn’t want to play with the little ones by the shore, and the water where the older ones were playing was too deep for me. Still, I tried to swim out their way, hoping they’d notice me and let me join in. They didn’t.
So I was paddling around by myself, until suddenly I noticed that I was way out past the big kids – and being swept by a strong current farther and farther out. I was terrified. I was not a strong swimmer, and could not break free from the current. I realized I was just a little kid, myself. I started to yell for help, but everybody back there were having fun, and they were making a lot of noise of their own, so they didn’t hear me.
I was splashing wildly, but only getting weaker and farther from shore. All I could see before me was a seemingly never-ending stretch of water, with waves that seemed to be getting larger and larger. And the safe shoreline was getting farther away and smaller by the moment. By now I was sobbing and hopeless.
And then, unexpectedly, a strong pair of arms encircled my shoulders, and a young man, whom I had never seen before, was pulling me out of the current with sure, strong strokes. He held onto me until I was safely close to the shore, and could stand up. He asked me if I was alright, and then swam off. Somewhere. I didn’t see him again.
Father, right now I feel like I did back then, when the current was pulling me out. I feel as though I am caught in a great current and am being swept from the safety of the shoreline. From the safety of friends and family. I have wanted to be “grown up.” I have wanted to follow You out to where the “big kids” play. But it seems as though, somehow, You’ve drawn me past the drop-off, and into the deeps. I’ve sensed it beginning to happen, but have always felt, perhaps, that not only are the big kids nearby, even if they don’t really want me around, but that I can always retreat to the safety of the shallows, and safely into the arms of family and friends.
And suddenly, I realize that You are calling me farther on. And all I can see is the vastness of the open water, and the height of the larger waves, away from the quiet of the bay. And I am panicking. I am thinking, “Oh no! I’m really just a little mama. It’s all I’ve ever really been good at, and I haven’t been that great even doing that. And now I’m really getting too old to even do that; my own children are mamas now… I have no strength. I’m too old for this. I have to get back to shore where it’s safe. Maybe I can just help set the tables for others.”
And yet. I am pretty sure that You are out here with me. In front of me, actually, in the depths, calling me to follow.
Still, the waters out there look so wide and far away and lonely. And I’m not a good swimmer. And everybody else is back there on the shoreline, safely splashing and playing in the shallows and setting up picnic lunches. Oh, Father! They don’t even seem to see me being swept away. They don’t seem to notice that I’m missing, at all. I want them to see me, to care, to rescue me, bring me back to safety and security.
And yet, again. You are out there, beyond me, way out in the wide waters. Calling me to look forward, to You. Not back to the beach. And I do want to trust You. Obey You. Follow You.
Only, Papa, I feel like I have no strength, no plan, no energy. (And hardest of all, no companionship).
Yet I do know, in my heart of hearts, that I can trust You, You alone, always, to fulfill all those needs for me.
But I also can’t see anything out there at all except water. I can’t even see where the current itself is heading. So I have no idea of even what general idea I might be swept.
And Papa – oh Papa. Do You have any idea how it feels when all the people I love, all the people who’ve been the core, the center of my life, just don’t even seem to see what’s happening?
(Maybe this is just part of yesterday’s “mother’s day” feeling? When my own mama was gone. And my children are mamas themselves now, and the special day is about them now! And even my baby, who really did spoil me lavishly, hug me wonderfully, is a man now himself, and I know he is already moving on….) (And for various reasons, it seems, I’ve pretty much lost contact, lost the security of, my “church friends” and my “work friends” too… )
Papa… I feel so alone. So way out in the water. I hear You calling. But it’s hard to really let go of all that “security” back there.
Is this what it means when You spoke of how we have to be prepared to leave everything, everyone, to follow You?
It seems like, in Your word, that people in Your family, in Your church, back in the day, were close together, meeting daily, visiting house-to-house, eating together, learning together, working together, travelling together to spread Your good news. (But sometimes You did send them out, alone, didn’t You?). And now – now I feel like we live such fractured lives. So many people, but everyone so busy. Nobody really knows anyone….
Yesterday I saw some little old ladies here and there. Out walking alone, sitting in the park alone. On Mother’s Day. And I said, “Happy Mother’s Day” to one as she walked past me. But then I wondered if that was the wrong thing to say. Because maybe she was feeling even lonelier than I was. I wanted to run and hug her. But I was afraid. Afraid that perhaps both of us would stand there in the street and hold each other and cry.
Oh Papa.
I really do want to follow You. Into the depths. No matter what.
(Even though it is awful hard not to keep looking back when you hear everyone back at the shore laughing and calling out to each other, and eating and having fun together.)
But Papa, that’s how it was for little Christian, in that children’s edition of Pilgrim’s Progress. There he was, leaving his home. Alone. To follow the hard path You called him to, in that letter You sent him. And later on, when he passed through that city, and the other children were dressed in bright colors, and having fun, and calling out for him to stay. But he kept on going. For awhile, he had Faithful with him. But Faithful lost his life for You. There were times of rest, when he was cared for and encouraged and nourished by members of Your family. But always, You soon called him to travel on. Alone so often. Still, later, before he crossed to the Celestial City, he did have the joy of seeing some of those he’d left behind, coming after him, following Your road too.
That is the journey You call us to, isn’t it?
…. Later ….
Oh, Papa! You’re speaking to me. Encouraging me. Thank You for that email prayer list: I am reminded once again how very blessed I am! And how much more difficult are the paths You call others to. And thank You for that article a friend posted a link to, on facebook. About the amazing – totally unimaginably awesome and amazing – universe.. You truly are so much greater, so much more in control, than I can possibly imagine!
And thank You for Your words, quoted at the beginning and end of that email prayer list. So encouraging!
“May our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who loved us and by His grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.” (2 Thess 2:16-17) (and those words in response, from the prayer-list writer: “we’re all waiting for the Lord. Let’s keep our eyes on Him and our trust in Him. Praise Him for His sufficiency and His goodness.”) And then those other words from You: “God takes the time to do everything right – everything. Those who wait around for Him are the lucky ones.” (Isaiah 30, The Message).
………….
Oh Father! Please forgive me for panicking. You ARE in control. I am not being swept away, alone, in fear of drowning, with no one to notice and care and rescue me.
Instead I am being swept into the immensity and wonder and awesomeness and endless amazing perfect love and care and fulfillment of all my being – indeed, of all that is: You! My Lord, my God, my Creator, my Savior! Almighty God, everlasting Father, Prince of Peace! Praise Your Holy Name!
Thank You, Papa. I love You! Amen!
…. Reading Matthew 5 to 7 …
Oh my goodness. These words of You, Jesus, are amazing! Father, You are truly calling us to radical living – living that is only possible, even in the smallest, beginning ways, IN YOU. And yet You are calling us not only to beginning ways – but all the way. To perfection. Just as You are perfect!
So yes, we have to leave the shoreline. And get caught up, swept up, into Your mighty current. Without reservation, without looking back to our old loves, our old safety nets, our old small pleasures, our old dependencies.
And allow You to sweep us forward, out into the depths. Where we can see no hope, no landing spots, no flotation devices even. Nothing except You. Even in (most of all, in) the most stormy moments when we are tossed about in giant waves and are cold and shaking and feel like we are going down with no hope of rescue. And even You don’t “seem” to be there.
And yet. You ARE. And You are teaching us, giving us the space and opportunity we need, to trust fully in You. Alone.
It’s a funny thing. So many times I have stood on the ocean shoreline and looked out toward the great Pacific ocean. And it is gray and misty and wind-blown and stormy. I can see nothing but a hazy distant horizon that I know goes on and on and on…
And yet, I find myself dreaming, longing to set out in a little vessel. Hoist the sails and let the waves and currents sweep me away to wherever they go. To “far Cathay” or “the Bay of Benin, the Bay of Benin” …. Far-off, mysterious, unknown shores, imprinted in my imagination from stories and poetry heard in my childhood.
And that poem calls out to me over and over: “I must go down to the seas again, To the lonely sea and the sky, And all I ask is a tall ship, And a star to steer her by”…. (Masefield).
And now, Father, now You are offering me that opportunity, to set sail on uncharted seas, with only a single star to steer by – You!
And after all that dreaming and longing – I find myself panicking. Afraid!
But oh, Father, I do want to leap in, even without a boat beneath me. And get swept into Your mighty current. Into the uncharted adventure of living in Your love. No matter when it takes me, no matter how stormy and cold. Even if no one else goes with me.
“Though none go with me, Still I will follow …. No turning back, no turning back.” (We sing so many songs about You, with such enthusiasm… And then one day You ask us to truly mean, to step out and act upon, what we’ve been singing all along.)
(Hmmm…. I’ve just suddenly gained a much more “sympathetic” viewpoint of Lot’s much-maligned wife.)
Oh, Papa! I just can’t go on like this!
I’m afraid!
I feel like somehow I’m getting way too far from where You want me.
Or maybe I’m just getting into deep water and fear that I’m going to be swept away.
I remember when I was a child, maybe 9 years old or so, and my family and a lot of friends were at the park at Woods Lake, where the creek emptied into the lake. The children were playing in the water close to shore, the dad’s were playing softball in the nearby field, the mom’s were setting up lunch on the picnic tables, and the older kids were playing water volleyball out in the deeper water next to the drop-off.
There really weren’t many kids around my age. I didn’t want to play with the little ones by the shore, and the water where the older ones were playing was too deep for me. Still, I tried to swim out their way, hoping they’d notice me and let me join in. They didn’t.
So I was paddling around by myself, until suddenly I noticed that I was way out past the big kids – and being swept by a strong current farther and farther out. I was terrified. I was not a strong swimmer, and could not break free from the current. I realized I was just a little kid, myself. I started to yell for help, but everybody back there were having fun, and they were making a lot of noise of their own, so they didn’t hear me.
I was splashing wildly, but only getting weaker and farther from shore. All I could see before me was a seemingly never-ending stretch of water, with waves that seemed to be getting larger and larger. And the safe shoreline was getting farther away and smaller by the moment. By now I was sobbing and hopeless.
And then, unexpectedly, a strong pair of arms encircled my shoulders, and a young man, whom I had never seen before, was pulling me out of the current with sure, strong strokes. He held onto me until I was safely close to the shore, and could stand up. He asked me if I was alright, and then swam off. Somewhere. I didn’t see him again.
Father, right now I feel like I did back then, when the current was pulling me out. I feel as though I am caught in a great current and am being swept from the safety of the shoreline. From the safety of friends and family. I have wanted to be “grown up.” I have wanted to follow You out to where the “big kids” play. But it seems as though, somehow, You’ve drawn me past the drop-off, and into the deeps. I’ve sensed it beginning to happen, but have always felt, perhaps, that not only are the big kids nearby, even if they don’t really want me around, but that I can always retreat to the safety of the shallows, and safely into the arms of family and friends.
And suddenly, I realize that You are calling me farther on. And all I can see is the vastness of the open water, and the height of the larger waves, away from the quiet of the bay. And I am panicking. I am thinking, “Oh no! I’m really just a little mama. It’s all I’ve ever really been good at, and I haven’t been that great even doing that. And now I’m really getting too old to even do that; my own children are mamas now… I have no strength. I’m too old for this. I have to get back to shore where it’s safe. Maybe I can just help set the tables for others.”
And yet. I am pretty sure that You are out here with me. In front of me, actually, in the depths, calling me to follow.
Still, the waters out there look so wide and far away and lonely. And I’m not a good swimmer. And everybody else is back there on the shoreline, safely splashing and playing in the shallows and setting up picnic lunches. Oh, Father! They don’t even seem to see me being swept away. They don’t seem to notice that I’m missing, at all. I want them to see me, to care, to rescue me, bring me back to safety and security.
And yet, again. You are out there, beyond me, way out in the wide waters. Calling me to look forward, to You. Not back to the beach. And I do want to trust You. Obey You. Follow You.
Only, Papa, I feel like I have no strength, no plan, no energy. (And hardest of all, no companionship).
Yet I do know, in my heart of hearts, that I can trust You, You alone, always, to fulfill all those needs for me.
But I also can’t see anything out there at all except water. I can’t even see where the current itself is heading. So I have no idea of even what general idea I might be swept.
And Papa – oh Papa. Do You have any idea how it feels when all the people I love, all the people who’ve been the core, the center of my life, just don’t even seem to see what’s happening?
(Maybe this is just part of yesterday’s “mother’s day” feeling? When my own mama was gone. And my children are mamas themselves now, and the special day is about them now! And even my baby, who really did spoil me lavishly, hug me wonderfully, is a man now himself, and I know he is already moving on….) (And for various reasons, it seems, I’ve pretty much lost contact, lost the security of, my “church friends” and my “work friends” too… )
Papa… I feel so alone. So way out in the water. I hear You calling. But it’s hard to really let go of all that “security” back there.
Is this what it means when You spoke of how we have to be prepared to leave everything, everyone, to follow You?
It seems like, in Your word, that people in Your family, in Your church, back in the day, were close together, meeting daily, visiting house-to-house, eating together, learning together, working together, travelling together to spread Your good news. (But sometimes You did send them out, alone, didn’t You?). And now – now I feel like we live such fractured lives. So many people, but everyone so busy. Nobody really knows anyone….
Yesterday I saw some little old ladies here and there. Out walking alone, sitting in the park alone. On Mother’s Day. And I said, “Happy Mother’s Day” to one as she walked past me. But then I wondered if that was the wrong thing to say. Because maybe she was feeling even lonelier than I was. I wanted to run and hug her. But I was afraid. Afraid that perhaps both of us would stand there in the street and hold each other and cry.
Oh Papa.
I really do want to follow You. Into the depths. No matter what.
(Even though it is awful hard not to keep looking back when you hear everyone back at the shore laughing and calling out to each other, and eating and having fun together.)
But Papa, that’s how it was for little Christian, in that children’s edition of Pilgrim’s Progress. There he was, leaving his home. Alone. To follow the hard path You called him to, in that letter You sent him. And later on, when he passed through that city, and the other children were dressed in bright colors, and having fun, and calling out for him to stay. But he kept on going. For awhile, he had Faithful with him. But Faithful lost his life for You. There were times of rest, when he was cared for and encouraged and nourished by members of Your family. But always, You soon called him to travel on. Alone so often. Still, later, before he crossed to the Celestial City, he did have the joy of seeing some of those he’d left behind, coming after him, following Your road too.
That is the journey You call us to, isn’t it?
…. Later ….
Oh, Papa! You’re speaking to me. Encouraging me. Thank You for that email prayer list: I am reminded once again how very blessed I am! And how much more difficult are the paths You call others to. And thank You for that article a friend posted a link to, on facebook. About the amazing – totally unimaginably awesome and amazing – universe.. You truly are so much greater, so much more in control, than I can possibly imagine!
And thank You for Your words, quoted at the beginning and end of that email prayer list. So encouraging!
“May our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who loved us and by His grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.” (2 Thess 2:16-17) (and those words in response, from the prayer-list writer: “we’re all waiting for the Lord. Let’s keep our eyes on Him and our trust in Him. Praise Him for His sufficiency and His goodness.”) And then those other words from You: “God takes the time to do everything right – everything. Those who wait around for Him are the lucky ones.” (Isaiah 30, The Message).
………….
Oh Father! Please forgive me for panicking. You ARE in control. I am not being swept away, alone, in fear of drowning, with no one to notice and care and rescue me.
Instead I am being swept into the immensity and wonder and awesomeness and endless amazing perfect love and care and fulfillment of all my being – indeed, of all that is: You! My Lord, my God, my Creator, my Savior! Almighty God, everlasting Father, Prince of Peace! Praise Your Holy Name!
Thank You, Papa. I love You! Amen!
…. Reading Matthew 5 to 7 …
Oh my goodness. These words of You, Jesus, are amazing! Father, You are truly calling us to radical living – living that is only possible, even in the smallest, beginning ways, IN YOU. And yet You are calling us not only to beginning ways – but all the way. To perfection. Just as You are perfect!
So yes, we have to leave the shoreline. And get caught up, swept up, into Your mighty current. Without reservation, without looking back to our old loves, our old safety nets, our old small pleasures, our old dependencies.
And allow You to sweep us forward, out into the depths. Where we can see no hope, no landing spots, no flotation devices even. Nothing except You. Even in (most of all, in) the most stormy moments when we are tossed about in giant waves and are cold and shaking and feel like we are going down with no hope of rescue. And even You don’t “seem” to be there.
And yet. You ARE. And You are teaching us, giving us the space and opportunity we need, to trust fully in You. Alone.
It’s a funny thing. So many times I have stood on the ocean shoreline and looked out toward the great Pacific ocean. And it is gray and misty and wind-blown and stormy. I can see nothing but a hazy distant horizon that I know goes on and on and on…
And yet, I find myself dreaming, longing to set out in a little vessel. Hoist the sails and let the waves and currents sweep me away to wherever they go. To “far Cathay” or “the Bay of Benin, the Bay of Benin” …. Far-off, mysterious, unknown shores, imprinted in my imagination from stories and poetry heard in my childhood.
And that poem calls out to me over and over: “I must go down to the seas again, To the lonely sea and the sky, And all I ask is a tall ship, And a star to steer her by”…. (Masefield).
And now, Father, now You are offering me that opportunity, to set sail on uncharted seas, with only a single star to steer by – You!
And after all that dreaming and longing – I find myself panicking. Afraid!
But oh, Father, I do want to leap in, even without a boat beneath me. And get swept into Your mighty current. Into the uncharted adventure of living in Your love. No matter when it takes me, no matter how stormy and cold. Even if no one else goes with me.
“Though none go with me, Still I will follow …. No turning back, no turning back.” (We sing so many songs about You, with such enthusiasm… And then one day You ask us to truly mean, to step out and act upon, what we’ve been singing all along.)
(Hmmm…. I’ve just suddenly gained a much more “sympathetic” viewpoint of Lot’s much-maligned wife.)
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