early morning conversation with Father

5 July 2010

Good morning, Father!

I set the alarm for 6:30 but am happy to walke earlier to spend some one-on-one with You before hubby gets home from work, and then I head off to help out at the Youth Write Camp for a couple hours.

Thank You for helping me yesterday when the enemy and my flesh were trying so hard to draw me away from You. Please continue to help me in that area. Please cleanse my heart and mind of things of the world that try so hard to come between You and me. Please. In Jesus' name. Thank You. Amen. So be it.

What do You want me to do today? Read scriptures about grace? And read from the What's So Amazing About Grace book by Philip Yancy? And reflect on the many grace moments on my life? And take notes... and get busy writing that play...

And watch those wordpress webinars from AJ Lindquist at her Write With Excellence site? And then get on with working on my writing sites...

Luke 18:1 "...at all times they ought to pray and not to lose heart."

Well, that explains a lot of my having "lost heart" lately. My loneliness, my wishing for "real church and fellowship" and all, my discouragement about things in our lives which I have related to financial problems...

(which is pretty silly because we still are doing fine financially, despite how things "look" and "should be" in the natural. Like my worrying about "our future," with retirement years rushing up, and us apparently not very prepared financially... Again, You keep providing amazingly, day after day - that's the key, isn't it - despite my dire predictions based on my budgeting and my worrying. Do You think I will ever learn? Please forgive me. And thank You for Your kindness and patience.)...


And the verse also explains my apparent confusion about what to write and how to go about it...

(which is also pretty silly, because actually I have known all along, pretty much, what You purpose for me. But I have been drawn in, maybe even dazzled, by the world's methods and dazzling promises of wealth and success. Which 99% of people never achieve anyway. And which are most certainly not Your ways...

Three plus months I've diligently studied this stuff. And now, when my "business start-up funds" are empty, You have opened my eyes and heart, and have brought me back to what You have been telling me for years. You've spoken so clearly the past few days as I have re-read our prayer conversations about all this, conversations that date back nearly a decade....

And I realized as I've read and posted those conversations (over at my website), that I HAVE NOT BEEN PRAYING AT ALL TIMES (though I used to... You and me together... And I haven't even been in Your word consistently....

This must change. Starting now. Please. Please help me. Thank You.)

Like in the reading yesterday, too. Persistence in prayer. But boy, oh boy, when the answer comes - as it did for me a number of times in the past - and then the opportunity arises, has it has now: go with it! But still, bathed and blanketed in prayer. Amen. Thank You, Lord.

Psalm 30:5,11,12 ... joy! dancing! gladness! From and in You! :-) Amen! thank You, Lord!