Friday 17 March 2017

Brokenness

(originally journaled Oct. 15, 2016)

"Those who are broken in wealth, and broken in self-will, and broken in their ambitions, and broken in their beautiful ideals, and broken in worldly reputation, and broken in their afflictions, and broken ofttimes in health; those who are despised and seem utterly forlorn and helpless, the Holy Ghost is seizing upon, and using for God's glory...."

But it's still hard to get from broken physically and so on to broken in heart. Even being "broken in spirit" can sometimes lead people to resentment or unrelenting discouragement. I guess that's still pride at work?

Anyway, there has to be a perfect brokenness, a "contrite heart"--and why is that so hard for me to attain and maintain? Oh dear God, why is it so hard for me to let go? Why? What is wrong with me? Have You turned from me because for a time I seemed to turn from You? But You know my heart never really turned from You, even when my outer words and actions were ... ungodly? angry?

"Oh break my heart; but break it as a field / Is by the plough up-broken for the corn... / That life's eternal will may flash abroad ... / Be joys ... Thy victory singing. -- Thomas Toke Bunch

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