Trials are the Food of Faith

(journaled April 15, 2016)

"Trials are the food of faith. O let us leave ourselves in the hands of our Heavenly Father! It is the joy of His heart to do good to all His children.
There is [also] the reading of the Scriptures, that we may by them acquaint ourselves with God as He has revealed Himself in His Word.
Now the nearer we come to this in our inmost souls, the more ready we are to leave ourselves in His hands, satisfied with all His dealings with us." --George Mueller

I find myself more and more willing (though I have very far to go) to "leave myself in God's hands"--to the point that in my prayers I don't want to specifically ask Him anything but "Your will be done." Even when I pray for others, it comes down to "Your will be done." I'm even getting to that point when it comes to the potential of getting dementia. Thank You, Lord, for increasing my faith (And thank You for the troubles that have got me here).

But on the other hand, for some little things I kind of panic and ask something specific, something I think would be the best way for things to go. But even so, I don't often panic the way I used to. Because when it comes down to it, I've become quite convinced--and comfortable and accepting--that God does love us and does know what He's doing, no matter how it looks to us.

I am more concerned about people who don't know Him well enough to feel that way themselves, because I've been there, and I know how doubts, and even anger, can build and come between a person and God.

But on the other hand, maybe that's good because it pushes away false expectations and does open the possibility of seeing God as He is rather than what we have pictured or wished Him to be. The new picture is far more complex and mysterious and hard to grasp, but oh, I have far more rest (faith) in Him now. Thank You, Lord.