1 March 2010
Father, You know how “I feel” about that “short-term mission trip” I’ve been invited to go along on… You know I long for “greater adventures” and a “better use of Your – okay and “my” – resources… but You see the whole picture, and You know what is best for me – and for others – and for Your kingdom – and yes, Your glory… so yes! Your will be done!!!
Later…. Well, I just got my first Hep immunization today… which possibly puts me one step closer to that short term missions trip… or to whatever You have in mind, and whenever!
2 March 2010
Ha! I’m “afraid” I might have to go to that country for just 3 days…. I’m “afraid” You might make me go against one of my “cherished beliefs” which I have loudly proclaimed to anyone who would listen – about the “value” (or rather, lack thereof), if short-term missions, especially in view of their monetary cost in relation to the very short time there and what “I could accomplish” (oh dear). I’m “afraid” You might be chipping away again at “my” dearly held viewpoints… and yes, I am “afraid” that You may be causing yet another bastion of “pride” in my life to fall… (although I certainly didn’t recognize it as such until just now… I suppose… I wonder if that recognition is the point… hmmmm… or if I still need to “act on it” to “prove it” and/or to “own it” … to make it mine, make it real, in my life (and, in the acting on it, admit sheepishly to the world that maybe my pontificating about the matter in the past was wrong…)…
…. Later… I got an email about a huge turnaround spiritually in that country… prayer and fasting and incredible waiting upon You… maybe I need to go and see that? or not? Is it real?
3 March 2010
Perhaps the money aspect of that short-term-mission isn’t all that much of a concern to God (as it obviously is to me…), since He owns everything anyway?? Papa???
Saturday, 6 March 2010
revelation: trusting You to take care of their stuff too...
1 March 2010
Revelation! If I can trust You to take care of my stuff, my life – surely I can trust You to take care of other peoples’ stuff, other peoples’ lives!
Revelation! If I can trust You to take care of my stuff, my life – surely I can trust You to take care of other peoples’ stuff, other peoples’ lives!
Longing to allow myself to be secure in Your love...
When I read that book Misunderstanding God by D. Hufford), I began to think about how hard it is for us to “let go” of the “false teachings” of our past, and how we maybe “fight back” instead of learning to just rest in the adventure of Your love. I know I do that, too… In some people, for example, that might come out as anger at those who passed on “false teaching,” even if they truly believed those teachings were true…. In my case, I think it comes out as failure to completely trust You: continued insecurity, I suppose… (Thanks for that little revelation about myself just now! – Or perhaps it is really a big revelation, eh! Oh Father, why am I letting myself feel insecure in Your love? YOU DON’T FAIL!!! You don’t hold Yourself back in crucial areas (like we do hold back, as humans, even to those, maybe particularly to those, we claim to most love)… You don’t make Your Love dependent on anything I do. You don’t get disappointed in me. You are never too busy for me. You don’t love others more than You love me. You don’t hold me up to a long list of rules and regulations….
(I was just wondering why You did that – all those rules and regulations, that complicated “Law” – to the people of Israel… to all mankind before Jesus came and dwelt among us… but I suppose that really, by choosing to walk, to live independent of You, they, if they wanted “righteousness and goodness” in their lives – which You had created them for, making them in Your image, You are ARE GOODNESS AND RIGHTEOUSNESSS – the only way, in separation from You, to achieve some sense of goodness – a sad mockery of it, actually – was to strive to achieve it through following rules and regulations that more or less served to avoid at least the “appearance of evil” – because, boy oh boy, they sure aren’t much help when it comes to the evil thoughts and attitudes of the heart… which can be hidden for a time, with enough effort, but can never be overcome with our own efforts.
So in that sense, I guess You did “give the Law” to make us realize how futile our efforts are – so that we, when we encounter Your Son, will recognize the wonder of Your love, and long for it, and joyfully accept it! Because when we truly accept You, we are accepting Love, Life, Truth, Goodness, Justice, Mercy, Grace! And all of those aspects of You ARE Good, they are all Love! And yes, they do require “submission” and “giving ourselves to You completely” … giving away to You all that would “come between” us and Your perfect, wonderful Love. I guess kind of like if we were homeless, and suddenly we legally inherited a great, beautiful estate, with everything provided including endless resources to keep it going and growing… but we chose to continue to wear our dirty old rags, and refused to move into the mansion because we thought it was too beautiful and we didn’t want to dirty it (because we wouldn’t give up those dirty rags, or because we felt we “didn’t deserve it” or “hadn’t earned it” or whatever), so we only agreed to live in the dog house or the garden shed or whatever, at the farthest edge of the estate… and we wouldn’t even allow the servants to come in and clean us up a corner or bring us a plate of the good food from the feast prepared at the mansion! Oh my goodness! Thank You for the very clear picture, Father!
(I was just wondering why You did that – all those rules and regulations, that complicated “Law” – to the people of Israel… to all mankind before Jesus came and dwelt among us… but I suppose that really, by choosing to walk, to live independent of You, they, if they wanted “righteousness and goodness” in their lives – which You had created them for, making them in Your image, You are ARE GOODNESS AND RIGHTEOUSNESSS – the only way, in separation from You, to achieve some sense of goodness – a sad mockery of it, actually – was to strive to achieve it through following rules and regulations that more or less served to avoid at least the “appearance of evil” – because, boy oh boy, they sure aren’t much help when it comes to the evil thoughts and attitudes of the heart… which can be hidden for a time, with enough effort, but can never be overcome with our own efforts.
So in that sense, I guess You did “give the Law” to make us realize how futile our efforts are – so that we, when we encounter Your Son, will recognize the wonder of Your love, and long for it, and joyfully accept it! Because when we truly accept You, we are accepting Love, Life, Truth, Goodness, Justice, Mercy, Grace! And all of those aspects of You ARE Good, they are all Love! And yes, they do require “submission” and “giving ourselves to You completely” … giving away to You all that would “come between” us and Your perfect, wonderful Love. I guess kind of like if we were homeless, and suddenly we legally inherited a great, beautiful estate, with everything provided including endless resources to keep it going and growing… but we chose to continue to wear our dirty old rags, and refused to move into the mansion because we thought it was too beautiful and we didn’t want to dirty it (because we wouldn’t give up those dirty rags, or because we felt we “didn’t deserve it” or “hadn’t earned it” or whatever), so we only agreed to live in the dog house or the garden shed or whatever, at the farthest edge of the estate… and we wouldn’t even allow the servants to come in and clean us up a corner or bring us a plate of the good food from the feast prepared at the mansion! Oh my goodness! Thank You for the very clear picture, Father!
I love the surprise and adventure of giving my days to You!!
01 March 2010
Good morning Father!
Please be with me every moment of today! I do give it all to You – for my joy and pleasure and contentment, just as for Yours! I love giving my days to You! I love the sense of adventure, knowing that You can be counted on to make my days far more interesting and unexpected and delightful than what I would plan myself (of course I do make plans… but I love being flexible to let You turn them upsidedown if You so desire!). I love that You love me, and that I can totally depend on You to provide a day that is totally for my good, for the good of others I will be with, and for the increasing good and wonder of our relationship – Yours and mine – and by extension, all my other relationships where You place me.
I love that You do delight in letting me make “my plans,” especially when in the making of them I allow You the flexibility to surprise me! Sometimes, surely, the surprises aren’t at all what I would plan – and yes, sometimes I still do “worry” and get stressed and fail to trust that You are seeing the big picture and are working all things together for my good… hmmmm…. Guess that means I’m forgetting that You love me, because love is always kind and never fails, eh! Well, I’m sorry about that… but You do know my heart – and it is absolutely true that as I have been learning to trust You – as I have discovered that YOU REALLY AND TRULY DO LOVE ME! – my worry level has been dropping off significantly!
(Which is probably why when I fall into “little worries” now, I feel so sick and notice them so much more than before: because they are no longer a “regular part” of my life, so I’m not used to their effects! Yes! Oh Father, I long to reach the point of trusting Your love so deeply tat I cease “falling into worry” – cease doubting Your love! At all!) (And, yes, cease listening to the insidious whispers of my flesh and of the enemy).
Ha! Anyway, I know Your surprises are always for my good, and so very, very often they come in the form of blessings that I can see and enjoy right here and now, right in the moment! (Which is why I’m becoming more and more inclined to also view and expect the seemingly “unpleasant surprises” to be “blessings in disguise” … just as I can look at an ugly little caterpillar and already see in my mind’s eye the beautiful butterfly it will one day become! Or look at a tiny, bare, brown seed, and see in my mind’s eye the beautiful flower it will one day become! So then I begin to see the beauty and delight even in the “ugly caterpillar” or the “bare, brown, seed” kinds of events and circumstances that sometimes cross my days… A lot of beauty and delight in them! Hurrah!
Good morning Father!
Please be with me every moment of today! I do give it all to You – for my joy and pleasure and contentment, just as for Yours! I love giving my days to You! I love the sense of adventure, knowing that You can be counted on to make my days far more interesting and unexpected and delightful than what I would plan myself (of course I do make plans… but I love being flexible to let You turn them upsidedown if You so desire!). I love that You love me, and that I can totally depend on You to provide a day that is totally for my good, for the good of others I will be with, and for the increasing good and wonder of our relationship – Yours and mine – and by extension, all my other relationships where You place me.
I love that You do delight in letting me make “my plans,” especially when in the making of them I allow You the flexibility to surprise me! Sometimes, surely, the surprises aren’t at all what I would plan – and yes, sometimes I still do “worry” and get stressed and fail to trust that You are seeing the big picture and are working all things together for my good… hmmmm…. Guess that means I’m forgetting that You love me, because love is always kind and never fails, eh! Well, I’m sorry about that… but You do know my heart – and it is absolutely true that as I have been learning to trust You – as I have discovered that YOU REALLY AND TRULY DO LOVE ME! – my worry level has been dropping off significantly!
(Which is probably why when I fall into “little worries” now, I feel so sick and notice them so much more than before: because they are no longer a “regular part” of my life, so I’m not used to their effects! Yes! Oh Father, I long to reach the point of trusting Your love so deeply tat I cease “falling into worry” – cease doubting Your love! At all!) (And, yes, cease listening to the insidious whispers of my flesh and of the enemy).
Ha! Anyway, I know Your surprises are always for my good, and so very, very often they come in the form of blessings that I can see and enjoy right here and now, right in the moment! (Which is why I’m becoming more and more inclined to also view and expect the seemingly “unpleasant surprises” to be “blessings in disguise” … just as I can look at an ugly little caterpillar and already see in my mind’s eye the beautiful butterfly it will one day become! Or look at a tiny, bare, brown seed, and see in my mind’s eye the beautiful flower it will one day become! So then I begin to see the beauty and delight even in the “ugly caterpillar” or the “bare, brown, seed” kinds of events and circumstances that sometimes cross my days… A lot of beauty and delight in them! Hurrah!
Words to me, from Your word, about this "church situation" You've placed me in...
28 February 2010
Colossians 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer [why do so many people downplay prayer nowadays??], keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving: [even when things seem so SAD! Oh help me in this area, Papa! ]. 3.. praying at the same time for us as well, that God will open up to us a door for the word [yes!] so that we may speak forth the mystery of Christ [yes! yes!] for which I have also been imprisoned: 4. that I may make it clear in the way I ought to speak [oh! Me, too, Lord, please!!!]
5. Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. 6. Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person. [Oh, Father God, please put Your Spirit upon me, place Your coal on my lips, that I may indeed speak always with grace, as seasoned with salt, responding to each person only as You would speak Your love, Your grace, through me… Please!]
(It’s a good thing, actually, to see others struggling in areas that I know I too struggle in! A good reminder to keep humble and keep striving to be like Jesus! To truly share YOUR LOVE!!!) (Is “striving” another one of those potentially “wrong” words???? Papa??)
Colossians 4: Description of the brethren (brothers and sisters) in the Lord:
7. beloved brethren…. Faithful servant… fellow bond-servant in the Lord… 8. he may encourage your hearts… 9. our faithful and beloved brother… 10. my fellow prisoner… sends you his greetings… 11. fellow worker for the kingdom of God… proved to be an encouragement to me…. 12. one of your number… a bondslave of Jesus Christ… always laboring earnestly for you in his prayers, that you may stand perfect and fully assured in all the will of God… 13. he has a deep concern for you… 14. the beloved physician… 15. the brethren… the church that is in her home… 18. Remember my imprisonment. Grace be with you.
Col. 4: 17 … Take heed to the ministry which you have received in the Lord, that you may fulfill it. [hmmm… that is for me, isn’t it? No more whining… trying to escape it…]
Thank You! I needed to hear that!
Colossians 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer [why do so many people downplay prayer nowadays??], keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving: [even when things seem so SAD! Oh help me in this area, Papa! ]. 3.. praying at the same time for us as well, that God will open up to us a door for the word [yes!] so that we may speak forth the mystery of Christ [yes! yes!] for which I have also been imprisoned: 4. that I may make it clear in the way I ought to speak [oh! Me, too, Lord, please!!!]
5. Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. 6. Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person. [Oh, Father God, please put Your Spirit upon me, place Your coal on my lips, that I may indeed speak always with grace, as seasoned with salt, responding to each person only as You would speak Your love, Your grace, through me… Please!]
(It’s a good thing, actually, to see others struggling in areas that I know I too struggle in! A good reminder to keep humble and keep striving to be like Jesus! To truly share YOUR LOVE!!!) (Is “striving” another one of those potentially “wrong” words???? Papa??)
Colossians 4: Description of the brethren (brothers and sisters) in the Lord:
7. beloved brethren…. Faithful servant… fellow bond-servant in the Lord… 8. he may encourage your hearts… 9. our faithful and beloved brother… 10. my fellow prisoner… sends you his greetings… 11. fellow worker for the kingdom of God… proved to be an encouragement to me…. 12. one of your number… a bondslave of Jesus Christ… always laboring earnestly for you in his prayers, that you may stand perfect and fully assured in all the will of God… 13. he has a deep concern for you… 14. the beloved physician… 15. the brethren… the church that is in her home… 18. Remember my imprisonment. Grace be with you.
Col. 4: 17 … Take heed to the ministry which you have received in the Lord, that you may fulfill it. [hmmm… that is for me, isn’t it? No more whining… trying to escape it…]
Thank You! I needed to hear that!
Lots more questions (arising from reading that book...) ... but always coming back to the reality of Your amazing love!!
28 February 2010
I’ve been thinking about Amos, again. It seems like so many people now are saying, If you believe, God will not destroy you... of course, He’d prefer You to walk close to Him, but if you don’t, it’s still okay, because He loves you so much that…” Well, that what? “Obedience” seems to have become a nasty word that we shouldn’t use any more. We don’t “have to obey” because we’re not under the Law. We don’t have to “submit” either. God loves us. He wants us to be happy….. blah, blah, blah…
Oh, and of course all those nasty things out there are not from You – they are just part of life… the rain pours and the sun shines on both good and bad people (but if God loves everyone so much that He no longer demands – or even really encourages – obedience, and “justice,” and – oh, nasty phrase! – “punishment for evil” … does it even follow that there are bad people?? Which, I suppose, then lends credence to the whole universalist position…
Amos talks about “doing right.” What IS “doing right?” Apparently it no longer refers to obeying the “commandments of the Law.” Ummm…. Jesus “fulfilled the Law” … so what does that mean? That we are free to sin? Clearly not! Paul sure nixed that viewpoint! (And what about the “greatest commandment?” It was part of “the Law” … According to You, Jesus, it was the Law – the sum of it!) So what? Are we free from that, too? If we are free from loving You, and loving others… then I suppose it follows that we are free from Your love… No! That’s not possible! Is it? … Unless we choose to reject it… though of course there are many who say we don’t have a choice (either that You love everyone and everyone will come to You one way or another; or that You have Yourself chosen those You will call, and the others are already rejected… either way, no choice)…. Not to mention those who just simply don’t believe that You even exist! …. Of course, “believing” something – or someone – doesn’t exist, doesn’t negate its reality if it does exist… as, of course, the opposite also: “believing” in the existence of something/ someone does not make it so, if it isn’t true….
Oh, Father – my head is spinning! Ha! Maybe I need to take a course in logic, after all…
Amos kept saying, “Seek the Lord that you may live.” In my experience (and no doubt people will argue with that too!), life without You is not real living! You ARE Life. And You ARE Love. So life without You is life without love, too. (And that’s logical…).
The thing about all this that I don’t understand the most, is why anyone – well, at least anyone who has truly experienced Your love – would even want to do anything that would possibly interfere with their love relationship with You? They’d only be hurting themselves – and of course that’s exactly what happens…. Because, clearly, You don’t withhold Your love – You demonstrated that freely, wholly, grace-fully! – once for all – when Jesus died on the cross and rose again… and yet clearly, it hasn’t resulted in a world full of love. Far, from from it…. So it has to be us, rejecting You…
I suppose it is true that all too often, we’ve been fed a false view of You – and a false view of love – indeed, a view that is anti-Christ – a view that is actually blasphemous against You! And we do need to learn the truth – and experience that Truth – But once we’ve been there, why would we want to go back? Maybe we just really still don’t understand the Truth of Your Love… maybe we can’t imagine it is real… that Your Love is real… that You are Love and You are Real… except that, once we experience it – experience You – even if only for a moment – how can we doubt it? How can we doubt You? How can we doubt Your love? …. And yet, we do… over and over… I do – even when I don’t realize I am doubting… (and consequently, not trusting You…).
And yet, You said Yourself that the Truth is so simple a little child can understand it… Indeed, that we must become as little children in order to understand it…
Papa, I NEED to hear YOUR voice! There are so many voices shouting, that my head is spinning. Please, take me into the quiet place at Your feet, like Mary. Draw me into Your arms. Place Your peace on me. Your Spirit in my heart.
(The book says You want our hearts… don’t You want the rest of me, too? … I want ALL OF YOU…) (And I want You to want all of me…) (What kind of love rejects some parts?) (Or am I misunderstanding the writer’s point?)
(Mind you, I only want to present You with a beautiful me… I mean… it’s like I don’t want to give my kids a mom who supposedly loves them but beats on them, plays favorites, is embarrassed by them… so I try to be the best mom I can be… because I love them!) (Oh yes, but when You look at me, You look at me through what Jesus did, and You only see the beautiful me… isn’t that right? …. So I don’t have to “try to be beautiful” … and yes, this is hard for me to wrap my head around, because somehow I’ve always thought I had to make myself beautiful to You… but of course, come to think of it, I surely have NOT always been beautiful to my kids… and yet, amazingly, they still love me… and vice versa… My kids seem to love me even when I fail… mostly… and I love them when they “fail” … mostly…) (But You never fail!) (I do fail…)
(I guess I did used to think You wouldn’t love – accept, keep, be proud of, cherish – me as much if I kept failing… and maybe sometimes I still do start slipping back into that way of feeling…)
(But now… mostly! – I’ve come to know You enough to know that You DO keep on loving me – unconditionally!) (Though that last word, “unconditionally” is a pretty big concept to wrap my little mind around!! I guess it really has to be a “heart” word, eh…)
(And that constant love of Yours makes me love You even more, and makes me want to please and honor and obey and love You even more…)
(And be delighted that You are willing – eager! delighted! – in return – to help me get there…)
(So that our relationship just keeps growing and growing and growing – reaching, stretching into the perfect, wonderful, amazing, unending potentialities of YOUR LOVE – of YOU!!!)
(Yes! I do love You! And You do love me!)
(And I’m delighted to obey, worship, seek Your will – which I know is always BEST for me, because YOU LOVE ME!!!)
(Talk about the “circle of Life” … it’s the circle of Your Love!)
(And now I just went to my “scripture reading for today” – and of course it “just happens to be” the story of the greatest act of Your Love – Luke 23 and 24!!!)
(And Canada’s men’s hockey team just won Olympic Gold in overtime, lol! My tummy feeling better, every which way! )
I’ve been thinking about Amos, again. It seems like so many people now are saying, If you believe, God will not destroy you... of course, He’d prefer You to walk close to Him, but if you don’t, it’s still okay, because He loves you so much that…” Well, that what? “Obedience” seems to have become a nasty word that we shouldn’t use any more. We don’t “have to obey” because we’re not under the Law. We don’t have to “submit” either. God loves us. He wants us to be happy….. blah, blah, blah…
Oh, and of course all those nasty things out there are not from You – they are just part of life… the rain pours and the sun shines on both good and bad people (but if God loves everyone so much that He no longer demands – or even really encourages – obedience, and “justice,” and – oh, nasty phrase! – “punishment for evil” … does it even follow that there are bad people?? Which, I suppose, then lends credence to the whole universalist position…
Amos talks about “doing right.” What IS “doing right?” Apparently it no longer refers to obeying the “commandments of the Law.” Ummm…. Jesus “fulfilled the Law” … so what does that mean? That we are free to sin? Clearly not! Paul sure nixed that viewpoint! (And what about the “greatest commandment?” It was part of “the Law” … According to You, Jesus, it was the Law – the sum of it!) So what? Are we free from that, too? If we are free from loving You, and loving others… then I suppose it follows that we are free from Your love… No! That’s not possible! Is it? … Unless we choose to reject it… though of course there are many who say we don’t have a choice (either that You love everyone and everyone will come to You one way or another; or that You have Yourself chosen those You will call, and the others are already rejected… either way, no choice)…. Not to mention those who just simply don’t believe that You even exist! …. Of course, “believing” something – or someone – doesn’t exist, doesn’t negate its reality if it does exist… as, of course, the opposite also: “believing” in the existence of something/ someone does not make it so, if it isn’t true….
Oh, Father – my head is spinning! Ha! Maybe I need to take a course in logic, after all…
Amos kept saying, “Seek the Lord that you may live.” In my experience (and no doubt people will argue with that too!), life without You is not real living! You ARE Life. And You ARE Love. So life without You is life without love, too. (And that’s logical…).
The thing about all this that I don’t understand the most, is why anyone – well, at least anyone who has truly experienced Your love – would even want to do anything that would possibly interfere with their love relationship with You? They’d only be hurting themselves – and of course that’s exactly what happens…. Because, clearly, You don’t withhold Your love – You demonstrated that freely, wholly, grace-fully! – once for all – when Jesus died on the cross and rose again… and yet clearly, it hasn’t resulted in a world full of love. Far, from from it…. So it has to be us, rejecting You…
I suppose it is true that all too often, we’ve been fed a false view of You – and a false view of love – indeed, a view that is anti-Christ – a view that is actually blasphemous against You! And we do need to learn the truth – and experience that Truth – But once we’ve been there, why would we want to go back? Maybe we just really still don’t understand the Truth of Your Love… maybe we can’t imagine it is real… that Your Love is real… that You are Love and You are Real… except that, once we experience it – experience You – even if only for a moment – how can we doubt it? How can we doubt You? How can we doubt Your love? …. And yet, we do… over and over… I do – even when I don’t realize I am doubting… (and consequently, not trusting You…).
And yet, You said Yourself that the Truth is so simple a little child can understand it… Indeed, that we must become as little children in order to understand it…
Papa, I NEED to hear YOUR voice! There are so many voices shouting, that my head is spinning. Please, take me into the quiet place at Your feet, like Mary. Draw me into Your arms. Place Your peace on me. Your Spirit in my heart.
(The book says You want our hearts… don’t You want the rest of me, too? … I want ALL OF YOU…) (And I want You to want all of me…) (What kind of love rejects some parts?) (Or am I misunderstanding the writer’s point?)
(Mind you, I only want to present You with a beautiful me… I mean… it’s like I don’t want to give my kids a mom who supposedly loves them but beats on them, plays favorites, is embarrassed by them… so I try to be the best mom I can be… because I love them!) (Oh yes, but when You look at me, You look at me through what Jesus did, and You only see the beautiful me… isn’t that right? …. So I don’t have to “try to be beautiful” … and yes, this is hard for me to wrap my head around, because somehow I’ve always thought I had to make myself beautiful to You… but of course, come to think of it, I surely have NOT always been beautiful to my kids… and yet, amazingly, they still love me… and vice versa… My kids seem to love me even when I fail… mostly… and I love them when they “fail” … mostly…) (But You never fail!) (I do fail…)
(I guess I did used to think You wouldn’t love – accept, keep, be proud of, cherish – me as much if I kept failing… and maybe sometimes I still do start slipping back into that way of feeling…)
(But now… mostly! – I’ve come to know You enough to know that You DO keep on loving me – unconditionally!) (Though that last word, “unconditionally” is a pretty big concept to wrap my little mind around!! I guess it really has to be a “heart” word, eh…)
(And that constant love of Yours makes me love You even more, and makes me want to please and honor and obey and love You even more…)
(And be delighted that You are willing – eager! delighted! – in return – to help me get there…)
(So that our relationship just keeps growing and growing and growing – reaching, stretching into the perfect, wonderful, amazing, unending potentialities of YOUR LOVE – of YOU!!!)
(Yes! I do love You! And You do love me!)
(And I’m delighted to obey, worship, seek Your will – which I know is always BEST for me, because YOU LOVE ME!!!)
(Talk about the “circle of Life” … it’s the circle of Your Love!)
(And now I just went to my “scripture reading for today” – and of course it “just happens to be” the story of the greatest act of Your Love – Luke 23 and 24!!!)
(And Canada’s men’s hockey team just won Olympic Gold in overtime, lol! My tummy feeling better, every which way! )
Stressed! ... We say we love God and each other... but is this "love" God's love? or the enemy's deceptive replacement? Is the OT God different than the NT God? And other wonderings...
28 February 2010
Oh dear. What if I’m wrong? (Yeah, me too…)
(My stomach is so sick…. Been in pain the last few days, then feeling really ill last night… and now dizzy…. I thought I was maybe getting past being “stressed” … that maybe I had really learned to trust in You… but it seems I have an awful long way to go, after all, in that department…)
This morning we actually had our street family gathering after breakfast outside on the lawn… first time it was warm enough to do that since fall tie… (still pretty chilly, though, lol!)…. (it was awesome… folks who’d come for breakfast stayed, others passing by joined in)… and we talked about faith… and how initially it is adherence to an idea, I guess… but then it needs to turn into action, based on that “belief” … and I’m thinking, well, if I really “believed” and had “faith” … why am I having these stress symptoms (I’m pretty sure that is what they are)?
I’ve been reading this book, The Misunderstood God (by Darin Hufford) about what we (North American church, particularly) have come to “believe” about God… and how an awful lot of it is really contrary to the God of love to whom we are introduced in 1 Corinthians 13… because we see “God’s love” according to the world’s understanding of love… which is generally the opposite of God’s Love… in fact, the “world’s love” is really so often demonic: satan’s replacement for God’s love… and so selfish!!
And as I’ve been reading that book, I do see some of the “why’s” of what goes on in too many churches… why people constantly say they love God and love each other… but they sure don’t act like it…. (And, oh my goodness… and this is the painful part… I see myself getting deceived by this false love, too… oh dear…) (I’ve been scared to read the book… who is it that doesn’t want me reading it??? Why???)
Some people I know seem to, for the most part, avoid the Old Testament… and some book writers (maybe this one, too?) seem to kind of scorn the image of the God of the Old Testament (or at least ignore it/Him)… but I wonder… if it’s the same God, how can we ignore what the Old Testament reveals?
Did Jesus really “change everything?” (There seems to be a rapidly growing belief in universalism which says that a God of love, in the end, will bring all people to Himself… and they claim to “prove” it from the Bible…) (I’m getting awfully nervous about reading anything other than Your word, Father… but there seems to be a lot of scorn about that – focusing on Your word rather than the words of men – too… and I can understand that scorn if a person has not really encountered You, talked with You, experienced You in their reading of Your word… but once one has really known You and experienced You and Your love, how could they ever “scorn” time spent in Your word, when it is really time spent with You?!?! Well, I suppose that a lot of people haven’t really met You yet, personally, there in Your word… haven’t really personally met Your Word (You! Jesus!)… I know that, for me, it really was, for the most part, mostly just a lot of nice “stories” for a lot of years… though now, I can hardly imagine how that could have been, though I do remember!)
Oh dear. What if I’m wrong? (Yeah, me too…)
(My stomach is so sick…. Been in pain the last few days, then feeling really ill last night… and now dizzy…. I thought I was maybe getting past being “stressed” … that maybe I had really learned to trust in You… but it seems I have an awful long way to go, after all, in that department…)
This morning we actually had our street family gathering after breakfast outside on the lawn… first time it was warm enough to do that since fall tie… (still pretty chilly, though, lol!)…. (it was awesome… folks who’d come for breakfast stayed, others passing by joined in)… and we talked about faith… and how initially it is adherence to an idea, I guess… but then it needs to turn into action, based on that “belief” … and I’m thinking, well, if I really “believed” and had “faith” … why am I having these stress symptoms (I’m pretty sure that is what they are)?
I’ve been reading this book, The Misunderstood God (by Darin Hufford) about what we (North American church, particularly) have come to “believe” about God… and how an awful lot of it is really contrary to the God of love to whom we are introduced in 1 Corinthians 13… because we see “God’s love” according to the world’s understanding of love… which is generally the opposite of God’s Love… in fact, the “world’s love” is really so often demonic: satan’s replacement for God’s love… and so selfish!!
And as I’ve been reading that book, I do see some of the “why’s” of what goes on in too many churches… why people constantly say they love God and love each other… but they sure don’t act like it…. (And, oh my goodness… and this is the painful part… I see myself getting deceived by this false love, too… oh dear…) (I’ve been scared to read the book… who is it that doesn’t want me reading it??? Why???)
Some people I know seem to, for the most part, avoid the Old Testament… and some book writers (maybe this one, too?) seem to kind of scorn the image of the God of the Old Testament (or at least ignore it/Him)… but I wonder… if it’s the same God, how can we ignore what the Old Testament reveals?
Did Jesus really “change everything?” (There seems to be a rapidly growing belief in universalism which says that a God of love, in the end, will bring all people to Himself… and they claim to “prove” it from the Bible…) (I’m getting awfully nervous about reading anything other than Your word, Father… but there seems to be a lot of scorn about that – focusing on Your word rather than the words of men – too… and I can understand that scorn if a person has not really encountered You, talked with You, experienced You in their reading of Your word… but once one has really known You and experienced You and Your love, how could they ever “scorn” time spent in Your word, when it is really time spent with You?!?! Well, I suppose that a lot of people haven’t really met You yet, personally, there in Your word… haven’t really personally met Your Word (You! Jesus!)… I know that, for me, it really was, for the most part, mostly just a lot of nice “stories” for a lot of years… though now, I can hardly imagine how that could have been, though I do remember!)
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