As A Kid I Missed Out On ... or Not?

(originally journaled Sept 23, 2018)

1. As a kid, I missed the chance to ... dance! and pursue competitive stuff ... and join "non-Christian" groups like Girl Guides and sports

2. As a kid, I lacked freedom to ... make more personal choices

3. As a kid, I dreamed of ... being a Girl Guide, a meteorologist, a biologist, a journalist, a star or winner at something

4. As a kid, I wanted ... a pair of those shiny plastic toy high heel dress-up shoes

5. In my house, we never had ... enough encouragement to be ourselves (but maybe that was just the time, culture, religion, etc...)

6. As a kid, I needed more encouragement and freedom to .... try out things I was really interested in ... and permission to excel for myself in things I was passionate about rather than be expected to fulfill other people's plans for me

7. For years, I have missed and wondered about what would have happened if ... I did go on to get my Doctorate, or even get to continue in Major Work Class (gifted program at school), or take art instead of band, or have the chance to do Creative Writing in school instead of always serious writing

Would I be so conflicted and resentful (as I "should not be") about Christianity and church and all if I hadn't been so restricted in childhood? (No dancing, Guides, makeup, all those little "thou shalt not" rules...)?

The thing is, I never really felt like I was missing out on "things." I was loved and protected (maybe a bit too much of the latter) which was always wrapped in the limits imposed by church - or at least some people's interpretation of it - and - yes, I feel guilty to say it again, but my dad's ideas of what was good, interesting, etc. (And other people's ideas of what they wanted for/from me, which wasn't the adventure I craved...)