May 3, 2009
I took muffins with me to the Another Chance breakfast gathering. After a really stormy night, the morning was beautiful with sunny, clear blue skies, and fresh air. Had a really nice time chatting with people and then the "service" discussion time.
One thing ___ said is that he gets afraid sometimes that "churchy" people will try to rush things to get "results" with the Another Chance gathering, and that he hopes that instead they will observe and listen and build relationships ("love walking") and let God work things out His way and time.
Sometimes I feel like maybe I'm out of place because I'm not "doing" anything other than sometimes baking something and sometimes chatting - but a lot of the time just sitting there quietly... and yes, watching... so that helped him, to hear him say that.
And after I came home, I was reading this article on that house church site (the guy who writes all those books about house churches) and he was talking about the "de-tox, wilderness" time people go through after they leave churchianity... but warning people not to stay there too long (ie. the Israelites could have got to Canaan in 11 days but ended up taking 40 years - hmm... not so sure about that analogy). Anyway, at the end of the article was information about how to find and get involved in one of the network of house churches he's involved with... and that scares me too, making me wonder if it really is the "genuine article" of maybe just another trap??....
(Another thing it said in the article is how some people have had to leave homes and job security to move somewhere they can be part of a house church...) (and I wondered about that, too??....)
___ told me there would be a good music group at church this morning... but Father, I just feel sick to think of going to "service" there. I do go to that church on Tuesday and Thursday mornings for the coffee time with the street ministry, and I go and chat with people in the office and stuff... but through the back door... I actually find myself avoiding the front door that leads into the "sanctuary" .... I just don't want to do the "sanctuary" thing... Is that wicked? Father? Papa? Daddy?